Hi, i a moving  blogs

Still writing uninhibited...
Just moving blogs.
New blog
http://tishaseekingintimacywithjesus.blogspot.com/

Got my blogging mojo back...

My thoughts undiluted
"They are so cunning..."

Dear Lord,
I grow weary of praying for them (all of them, else i could not stay around them). I pray for myself now, i pray that my faith would not fail me.

They very nearly drew me into the pit of unbelief (I became thinking in like manner subtly). With all i have been through, i trust you now more than ever before because through every fire, you have shown yourself strong and able to defend me.

It's spiritual warfare, the fact that everyone actively fought me and did their best daily to discourage me, myself included (It actually built me up and made me stronger) shows that God has a plan for my life.

My mind has been busy (it's not easy to be intelligent, it gets in the way,  usually) creating alternatives like what i would do (It reminds me of the jungle in my mind before i got healed the first time). I pray my spirit is alert and conscious enough to key into your plan for me.

I have been praying steadily, as the burden come but not much at work, there's too much tension!

I remember the campmeeting i first got healed, right before any minister spoke, i would rebel in my mind, i'd be begging them not to say anything, because i did not want to hope, i could not bear to hope. i literally had a mind battle each time, i did not want to hope because i had failed so many times before and tried till i was weary.

God graced me and gave me the faith and the courage i needed. Today i receive and take advantage of the favour He graced me with (because He doesn't take back His gifts) to take all that He has for me and my family and for everyone else that has need, in Jesus name, Amen!

I am a supernatural being and i reign and rule with Christ Jesus. God is sovereign and He can make me what he wants me to be with/without the help of man.

On point
This is my prayer


This is my heart this season: Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord!


Thank you Father!

A new day...

It takes me a while for words to sink in
I am strange like that

It takes a while for insults self to sink in
Or warnings
Or instructions

But when they do sink in
I never forget
It sinks in


I am sold out to Jesus
Not partially
totally
Not something i do on/off
convenient or for gain

This is me 
Not changing for anyone

This is my call

To stand up and be counted
to be the light in my environment...

Peace!

By the way, i just logged on to say i am so calm
i amaze mysel
Tis not natural
This can only be God.

Hi folks, feels like the old tisha, almost!

K

I knew i was going to post something sooner

How are you all doing?

Miss my blogfam

been pondering some stuff

wondering about my dreams

wondering if i have not been thinking too small

compared to the plans God had in store for me

Gisting with my sis this morning 

and she told me about this woman 

who was raped and killed by her driver and her cook

and called herself a Christian

I was slipping off into my nonchalant mood

when i suddenly got mad

Two folks planned such rubbish about you

and you are in the dark about it and you call yourself 

a CHRISTIAN

It annoyed me plenty, why don't you just tag 

yourself a bench warmer

Then i recalled what it meant to be Christian

It means to be conscious of the spiritual more than the physical

It means to dominate your environment so much

you can decide what happens on it and what doesn't

I know many folks won't understand this

But Kathryn Kulman in the 1940's used to dominate territories

She used to decide that such and such, stealing, anger, fear and sickness

could not operate around her in a 10 ft radius, two blocks, ten blocks and

then a 5o mile radius, that is what it means to take charge.

How can people with such criminal minds be planning such against you and

you don't know?

Don't tell me you are not a witch or a mind reader

That is why he gives visions, word of knowledge, wisdom, discernment of spirits etc

It is so you can dominate your world and operate as more than a man
How can this woman possibly say she did not sense anything
and then say she has an intimate relationship with the Most high
That he calls her by name, that she is submitted and obedient to His will,
God never leaves His children bereft, he is always speaking.
he has spoken to me so many times concerning members of my family, i am
glad i don't play church, that i am not the senior partner in our relationship
But that He is. Glad His plans are always good, i don't know what i would do
without Him, He just works perfectly, i love the way He loves me (selfish as that sounds)
God's love is unending, i won't stop dreaming!
I am under His divine influence daily because i am born of God
and His divine protection/hedge is roundabout my loved ones daily in their offices, businesses
homes, anywhere they go, God is caring for them. He is my stand-by

If some idiot curses you and you are cursing them back, you are not prepared

to walk in the kingdom

After seeing it, you must walk in it by obeying God's word

LOVE is key, but love is not stupidity; neither is it humiliation.

That woman just pissed me off because her lack of operating spiritual gifts

cost her her life, she did not need to go to heaven early.

JUST WONDERING

God and I are not are close as we used to be, the intimacy level is not as good as it used to be. I feel like He's there for me but i am living life not exactly on his plane.

So i decided to start a journal between God and me, where i would just write to Him about my day and my Christian growth and my life and just to know His mind for me. 

My pastor used to give this scripture a lord "Draw near to me and i will draw near to you". I think i even heard it a couple of times before i got saved.

Tip for the day: If you are reading scripture you want to drive into your spirit, speak in tongues while reading it, peace!

Feels like old times, my writing doesn't have to make sense and be all so proper all the time.

Words freak!

It's not surprising, i was reading my readers in one day by the age of 6 so my love for words is not new. I love poems and I am stealing (lol) this from a s/he called Lee La Poeta I saw it on Facebook and it spiked up my imagination.

I do not know how I stumbled upon it

I am yet to discover what it was

Was it those eyes?

intriguing darks swimming in ocean whites?

or was it the goofy lopsided smile,

revealing perfectly shaped whites?

Perhaps it was the way those neat khaki pants,

Groped and majestically carved your rear

And made me look away in fear of evil thoughts

Could it be the way you made black look so sleek?

Or was it your laughter, short and precise?

No. maybe it was your voice, almost flawless, melodious.

Surely it must have been your skin,

Smooth, even, chocolate,

Neither light nor dark

Or maybe it was your aura, sweet, perceptive, open.

Could be your sense of humor!

the way you weaved your stories.

What was it now? 

It could not have been your annoying questions,

Do you have this or that? Can you drive?

Why is your bra this color? Do you drink?

I think it was your hands, soft, gentle in a weird way.

It was the way you could be cocky and still unsure.

It was how you knew almost everything about everything

It was how hard you worked and how lazy you are

It was how you combined aloofness with friendship

It was gullibility and intelligence mixed

It was youth and maturity

It was how you are unafraid of yourself,

That scared me.

It is definitely your scent, exotic and rare.

And your stare,

That sketched, even etched you right there.

(Lol, I liked it and I thought I’d share) 

Today (on that day) I miss my friends, not that I would have the time to spend with them even if they were here (one of the disadvantages of being grown up). What I miss is the times we had together just hanging out, I cherish those times. I miss those times!

This poem describes almost every friend I have had from kindergarten till now, it even describes me too. I have been blessed with great people as friends and I love and appreciate them and I thank God for putting them in my life. Today I appreciate two of my friends who are having their birthday today, happy birthday babes, I love you too much!

Simple

I liked it and so I stole the idea from 'Beautiful'

1. Do you have any pets?
    NO! I love puppies though!

2. Name 3 things that are physically close to you.
    Phone, Journal, Bible


3. What's the weather like right now?
    Hot and sticky...mschew!


4. Do you drive? If so have you crashed?
    I know how, I have never crashed.


5. What time did you wake up this morning?
    4.00 am, I am an early riser


6. When was the last time you showered?
    I live in this stupid village/town (only in their minds) and I fetch water in a bucket to take my bath and so i don't shower.

7. What was the last movie you saw?
  Uhmm, nothing really noteworthy

8. What does your last text message say?
    Fun chat Loyalty Reward! Be the top chatter o today and get N750 airtime. To ind people around your area text...
Like i would i don't believe in gambling and I won't be giving MTN any free money, they should work for it.

9. What's your ringtone?
   Don Moen's song

10. Have you ever been to a different country?
As an adult, Ghana

11. Do you like sushi?
     Nope, I hate raw fish...duh!

12. Where do you buy your groceries?
     A mall in my area

13. Have you ever taken medication to help you fall asleep faster?
     Never, I watch TV when i am awake at midnight and sleep by 3am

14. How many siblings do you have?
    6, I won't be more specific, if you read my posts, you will find out anyways

15. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop?
     None of the above

16. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
  Mind your business blogam, you can guess if you are too curious!

17. Do you wear contacts or glasses?
    None of the above

18. Do you color your hair?
    Nope, my hair is fragile so i use colored extensions

19. Tell me something you are planning to do today.
      Planning to do my J.O.B as a publicist

20. When was the last time you cried?
   It has been a while!

21. What is your perfect pizza topping?
 Whatever tastes nice and sweet!

22. Which do you prefer-hamburgers or cheeseburgers?
    Pizza but i can manage ham burgers

23. Have you ever had an all-nighter?
  I have

24. What is your eye color?
     Brown

25. Can you taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke?
Like Day is not Night and like Light is not Darkness!


I think I enjoyed this...
Do it if you want!

me...according to my words...

Back so soon…

Like one who loves to hear the sound of their voice so they keep speaking, I like to see the words I write and read them over and over again. But since I don’t seem sincere on computer any longer, I write from my pillow with a pen and paper and transfer to the computer later…

Today I will be writing on 7 quirky things about me, I wish I could summarize but you would not get the picture and so I write.

1.      I did not get saved like the regular folks, it was different and I actually had to trust Jesus with my life. I have had this habit from when I was a kid. If you don’t look in my eyes, I literally cannot speak to you. I do it with everyone but most especially the people I let close to me; my siblings used to ‘tire’ of it all the time but they understand me. Why you may ask?

2.      I have this instinct, when I am talking with you and looking in your eyes, I can see espionage, honesty, disloyalty, loyalty, honor, cut-throatiness (rat race), love, unsure attitude, openness, insecurity, hatred, anger, admiration, malice, beef, kindness, jealousy, truth, lies, dishonor, whatever your emotions at any particular time, I can see in your eyes even if your face betrays no emotion, the eyes never lie, not to me.

3.      Its crazy abi, so long as you made eye contact with me, I would continually be speaking with you but if you could not make eye contact I would discontinue my friendship/closeness with you and move you to the level of acquaintances. I’d withdraw emotionally but remain professional and relate on an intellectual level. This amazes the ones closest to me, that I could remain polite no matter who you were or what you did but not pretend to have close relations with you. 

4.      I refuse to pretend at any level. I am a terrible pretender. I give honor to whom honor is due but I take no bulls**t from anyone. If you were sincere with me and suddenly started bulls**ting me, I would turn too but still maintain a courteous mien. My mom always used to say ‘There is a reason why human beings are not animals’. It is wrong to be practicing jungle strategies and still maintaining a semblance of humanity. We must distinguish ourselves by who we are!

5.      I love the simple life. Becoming a Christ follower, I came to understand that I must own the full personality & be committed to growing everyday and bearing fruit, not necessarily souls but love, kindness, joy, peace, gentleness (I know how much I confessed that scripture in Philippians ‘Let your gentleness be known to all men’ NIV), longsuffering, goodness, faithfulness, self control, meekness, temperance. (Gal 5:22). As you cultivate these gifts, they draw men to Christ. POWER has a place but the power of God is enhanced as you manifest the fruit of the spirit in your daily walk.

6.      I am no faker. Everyone says actions speak louder than words. I have never been a talker (If you are my friend you will probably laugh in derision). Truth is ‘I can be mute’ if I don’t trust you but if I even trust you a little, I start talking non stop about anything and everything and most likely out of the blue.

7.      I talked about my instinct se. I am stronger in observation techniques, lol. When I am not talking, I am looking or hearing. I look a lot and I can tell who people are through their eyes; I can tell if they are joyful or in pain, excited or confused but more than that, I can tell If they are AFRAID.

Fear repels me. If I talk to you and I sense fear, if I can talk with you, I would but if I can’t, I would avoid you.

Fear causes the word of God to lose its impact to your spirit. If you speak the word of God without conviction, fear is the culprit. If you speak the word of God and it does not stir hope and bring peace to its hearers, it is because you don’t quite believe what you are saying.

Fear is an alien to the believer in the resurrected Christ, it is a gift from the enemy and has no place in you, it should not find a home in your heart, refuse to accommodate it.

2 Tim 1:7 God has not given me a spirit of fear but of LOVE, POWER and a sound mind.

When I speak God’s word to myself, it does something on my inside that I can’t explain or understand, it is like spiritual power is pumping into my spirit.

Finally, I see fear or courage in the eyes or in the inflection of your voice. There is nothing like the word of God spoken with confidence and trust. Over the years, I have come to understand that I can trust what God says, he is more real than a human being sitting next to me.

This is why I pray, talk, sing, laugh and play with confidence. I am conscious of the loving God living in me and directing my path. This is why I impart those around me with what I believe. I ask myself this question all the time, it helps me know me. What do you believe?   

    

Thots in May...

IDENTITY CRISIS: I KNOW WHO I AM!

This is what life is…

I went to camp and I moved up or ‘I levelled up’ like my brother is always saying: Christians need to ‘level up’ but they ‘be’ always playing games with the Lord.

I never ever play games, I know who my daddy is, he don’t serve my Father and I learnt from him that when you play games, the devil is pleased with you, he will beat you black and blue like you are in a boxing ring. In the spiritual realm, there are rules or principles and if you are not obeying them, you will be powerless. You need to decide what is more important, the world system or the Kingdom!

I bless for my gathering in college, there is this song we used to sing:

“Unto me is given to KNOW the keys of the kingdom of the Lord” (repeated a gazillion times; we used to sing it for hours and I never got tired)

Today I’m talking about the devil, the enemy, the one who has existed for centuries, his power or rather his lack of power, his boundaries and the way to deal with him. I want to keep it simple; so I speak, no write of Abraham, he was counted righteous but he died and went to hell, rather a compartment in hell.

My mind goes to all them righteous by faith Isaac, Jacob, Job, Rahab, David, Isaiah, Deborah, Gideon, Moses, Caleb, Joshua, and all who had pleased God for they qualified for the hall of faith in Hebrews 11.

They died and went to hell to wait for the promise.

He (Jesus) arrived and lived and died on the cross as God planned, for he came to the world for the sole reason of dying for the sins of the world and atoning so that God would have justice against sin. 

And when he died, I believe the devil must have been pleased (the way we feel sometimes when someone we perceive to be our enemy has ill luck, it almost feels like revenge, I say it’s not godly.

Max Lucado says the angels must have paused before allowing him to die because ‘What If God died and got trapped in hell’ (because Jesus was God in a human form)

The enemy was smart but not smart enough!

There was one hitch

The wages of sin is death! Right Yes!

But Christ had lived on the earth without sin and so legally the enemy could not hold him bound.

Since he had no sin, the devil, utilizing the weapon of death had no legal right to hold Christ in the grave.

And so he rose again

Galatians tell us that we are Christ’s (Gal 3:29)

And in a covenant there is an exchange of characteristics, we inherit what is Christ and he takes what is ours.

And if we be Christ then death, sin, sickness, defeat, failure, depression, anger, malice, bitterness, unforgiveness and every other negative emotion; they have no legal right to remain in me/ the believer.

If you are a NEW CREATION

Do you know that if you have Christ, if you have confessed Him as Lord, you are a new creation.

Has it sunk into your heart?

The enemy, the devil has no legal right over you

Nothing that is his is binding on you

It is at this point a religionist will talk about sin and preach for hours about sin and hell and whatnot.

1 John 1:9 settles sin

I don’t care I you have to ask for forgiveness a billion times

You will just need to believe that where sin abounds, grace abounds much more

I am not God’s accountant; I don’t hold a hammer over your head to accuse you of using too much ‘grace’.

(because without grace, you will lack the courage to walk in dominion)

Do you know who you are?

You are Christ’s

You have been bought with a price and so you don’t belong to the devil any longer.

He has no legal right to hold you bound in sin, sickness, death, anger, whatever!

The wages of sin is death, yes!

Breaking News: You couldn’t pay it and you still can’t but JESUS CHRIST paid it ALL.

And anytime I watch a Christ movie and I see the stripes on Jesus’ back

I make up my mind that “I will never be sick another day, or broke or walk in anger, unbelief and a host o other things as they come to mind”

Do you hear me?

The debt has been PAID.

He (the devil) does not have a legal right over the believer (NEW CREATION)

Christ has paid it all so you better reap the benefits.

Finally,

What do you think?

Do you think Jesus huffed and puffed and when he had huffed and puffed enough, he rose up from the dead?

No way!

It was like it was with Lazarus; he just knew what to do

He knew God was TRUSTWORTHY

He knew he would rise again, the same way he knew water would change to wine.

I love the way Jesus walked with God

He applied the ‘Kingdom Principle’ without effort

What am I saying? It is not about your effort or hard work

This is exactly the way I want to walk

My college pastor says: “Whatever you are looking for is inside you”

And I believe this is inside me too.

Not inside my body silly!

Inside my spirit, that’s the real me anyways

I can remember learning by rote: “I am a spirit that has a soul and lives in a body”

I can remember my ‘P’ saying you need to teach your spirit because it rules.

Teach your spirit the word of God

I remember, “Them who are led by the spirit of God are the sons of God”

I said it so much; I don’t have to declare it any longer

I believe it so much I can recite it in my sleep

I know I am led by the spirit of God and I love the Holy Ghost; he’s so so awesome.

I laugh when I see people trying to operate kingdom principles with common sense, ‘KORO MIND’

Who do you think you are playing with?

Your human wisdom, the devil has seen a million times with other humans smarter than you over the centuries so you can imagine how amused he is when you try a card he’s seen one too many times.

The wisdom of God on the other hand, when you apply it, he’s confused because he never knows what God is up to!

Like who heard of a Father sending his son to die on a cross?

It is totally gross and it sure doesn’t make sense.

But that is the wisdom of God

The foolish things confound the wise…

That’s it I think, the post is already too long

I’ll be back soon anyways

Gal 5:22 But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law

Gathering fruits and yes they are in my spirit too no matter how everything seems. I plan to be walking in the spirit and putting my flesh under because I got to be walking in dominion everyday.

No one knows like my spirit how much power is about to be released and there will be no drama either, it will be like a normal day, every other day but there will be nothing ordinary about it.

(Lol! I bet the day Christ died, to an average person, the day must have dawned like every other day but nothing about that day was ordinary)

I am not called to an ordinary life but to a super-abundant, supernatural, extraordinary life.

Eternal Life: Rejuvenating, self-sustaining life.

God is the source

Have you ever imagined his source? He’s self existing. Don’t care anyways, just happy he is my source.

Wrote 4 pages in my journal but typed it is three pages.

This is way crazy but thanks anyways.

THANK YOU SPIRIT OF GOD

If you think I am crazy, I don’t mind. I know who I am!   

Lessons learnt, lessons to learn...

Hey

Lesson learnt: All in all, God is still good and yes i have learnt to walk in love even while dealing with varying humans, it has not been easy but it has been worth it. Growing is not so easy, you need to be pruned from time to time (By God, so no one will make you a robot), you need to be teachable and humble.

Lesson i need to learn:

Walking in dominion
Reigning in life
Walking in love


So help me God!


Instead, i thank you God because i know your help is available to me...

Peace!

I will be going for a camp retreat and i pray i have the best time. I believe that the spirit of God will select the best things for me and i thank God because i am divinely positioned to receive all of God's goodness for me and for my family and for my friends too!

I still thank Him everyday...

I got this testimony from gee's blog and posted it at maid of heart's request. 

I still thank God everyday

Even with all the stress that came along with the blessing, i don't want to go back to before He touched me, i may have reached for Him but He touched me with His love and grace and goodness and i don't want to forget how good He is no matter how cloudy things get and when the cares of the world want to take over, i'll still remember His goodness and kindness and say God i love you, i am grateful for your love and your presence and your guidance.

Okay i had this discharge on/off for years and i was scared to check it until it became so bad that i used to smell literally stink like gutter... I never was able to perceive oxygen (like i can now , smiles). 

I went for a program and a minister gave a word of Knowledge, now i had heard many different word of knowledge, at this time that related to me directly but it was always usually during my period and so by the time my period was over i would have lost courage. I don't know what was different this time, the man of God just said by the words, you were bleeding and now you have a discharge that is smelling just lift your hands and i will curse that infirmity from its roots.

I was surrounded by many people i knew and since its very embarassing i was stubborn and did not. but when he prayed i whispered amen and when he finished praying, i was terrified, i used to wear pantliners everyday but i refused to wear that night, i had the discharge but after like 2 days or so. it disappeared. i spent the next two months checking myself but it was gone. i don't know why it went but all i did was act in faith.

I kept repeating these words to myself "you are not healed because there is a presence of absence of symptoms you are healed because the stripes of Jesus made you so". i forget, like 6 months before i had taken antibiotics and it went away and came back or i even had more difficult days then i made a decision that even if it killed me i would not take any drugs again and God honored my faith.

Now, i have faith to believe for bigger things because i know God loves me. because its embarrassing, i have not yet given the testimony in my home church but everyone can see that there is something different around me. you can't know how it feels to have a discharge for years that makes it uncomfortable for you to be you or to even do anything and then to suddenly have it go away because you prayed. 

something i know i did for sure, i focused on the word of God and kept away from doubters and people who could not believe it. i meditated on the word and told me the truth of the word of God each time. The anointing breaks the yoke. . the discharge dried up until it was no longer there. God is great and He keeps His word, just believe

On my phone, i wrote this note that no matter what, i will never forget that i was the girl that stank till he intervened and now i smell oxygen, no smells any more (its simply supernatural), he says, He will arise and favour me, there's nothing impossible for me because He lives in me...

I remain teachable cause this pleases Him. Shalom! 

New week, same goal...

Goal: To be a light to my world.

This is what i live for
I want to be a light when it looks like all that is
is darkness

I want to be the light
when circumstances shout
the loudest

I want to be the light when all hope seems lost
i have been anointed to be a light
So its inside me, not outside me

All i need do is keep learning
Its all in me
Everything to live the abundant life

Its all in me
All it takes to live a godly life
Or the abundant life

I am created to bring glory to His name...

I am never disadvantaged
I have the advantage, i can be the best everyday
Because i have the advantage, i have the blessing!

NB. Life still has meaning for me,
cos all i am doing is worth it in Christ...
Expecting the best, expecting forever

Expecting God...

Blah blah blah

Boring!

(Okay it started out boring, Thank you Holy Spirit, you butted in)

What's happening? Nothing really that is worth blogging about. I am marketing again, maybe that is good news

(This is me being off-hand and like the rest of the world looking for entertainment or something to feel that void, nothing was working and i am glad they weren't working because i would not have realized that i still needed God)

Family:

I just realized today that we are all in school (It seemed like a dream unachievable in 2003)

In 2003 when my family was so so, at least it all appeared hopeless to me. I prayed to God to help and that He should enable us all to get into school.

God is faithful

My last born will be graduating soon, at least he has gotten into a college he respects. I mean my kid brother.

(This is me being thankful)

I am asking God for forever NOW, for increase of the hunger we have for Him because that is the way to get more anointing, for increase in finances, for increase in the knowledge we have in Him, for the courage to trust Him more, for the future, for the desire to obey the promptings He gives. I have obeyed a couple recently, Lord help me hear you clearly as i learn to live peaceful and in times of war still retain the peace in my heart.

(This is duty prayer, okay call on your dad, he wants to hear from you, you have been distant for a while, just call so he would know you checked in)

That is my new prayer point (I remember when my only prayer point was for wholeness. I am just thankful because i needed wholeness for all the tests i was going to go through).

Spiritually and otherwise i am totally whole, i am what the uninitiated will call a bravado, a boastful chic but to the new creation, i am a chic that speaks God's word in season and out of season, when i feel like it and when i don't. When it feels like reality and when it doesn't.

(This is miss has it all together in Christ)

Today i don't feel like it but i know that i walk in the spirit of dominion and i reign and rule by Christ. I know my tomorrow is better than today and that my life is under the divine influence of the spirit of God. I know that God has got His eye on me for good.

I remember when i did not know anything about God (from His word), if i heard messages based on who was talking, i was up and down like a yoyo. If the man of God said something good, i would be happy, if he said something bad, i would be depressed and searching through the bible for truth.

Anyways today, i know who i am in Christ at every moment and the preaching of hell does not make me fear because i am complete in Christ. I can put everything in context.

One of the translations of Jeremiah 31:3 says 'I will love you forever'... (God speaking)

That set me free, and remembering it tells me who i am all the time that no matter what comes against me at any moment, that God loves me so much. This is my confidence in good and bad seasons, with friends and with foes and when i know the steps in front of me and when i don't. I got taught recently that Jesus is the foundation. It just drives me to my knees because i feel i have a little too self sufficient for God. Lord if i have been negligent of you, please forgive, help me keep my personal time with you constant, this on-again, off-again thing is irritating. Help me be steady, depending on you daily and knowing that you and not the activities are the foundation of my walk with you, not even the giftings.

(This is remembering my foundations that i am a nicer person broken and depending on His grace than i am depending on me)

NEWS To me: The giftings are not exciting any longer. I want to spend time in God for spending time with Him sake and not for the expression of giftings, i am getting dry from always straining to hear. I was speaking with someone the other day and she said believers don't strain to hear except their receivers are dented. i checked myself and i know my receiver is not so good right now. Time spent with God is not enjoyable as before or maybe there is just too much on my mind i leave no room for Him. Lord help me, thank you because i have your help and your manifested presence guiding me, leading me, halting me, comforting me, protecting me, i have been calling for cover for weeks now and i just don't know. The nasty words keep chafing at me all the time, i wonder if it is worth it. My shield is not quite so strong and so i say Lord be my shield, i refuse to become so hard on the outside, God can't touch me.

(This is me lost and needing guidance and it is a good place to be because when God speaks, i don't have my own options. This is no professional, this is the sheep that knows where the fuel to keep going comes from, it comes from His throne room, Lord i thank you for your love and peace and your plans and purposes, you are my center, my sustainer, my kinsman redeemer, my shield, the One who keeps me safe in the bubble, my hero, help me stay steady)

There is this song that did it for me when i didn't know the word.

It said, 

'When ever i feel, like i can't make it through

and if ever i lose my way, i know who to run to

through the storm, through the rain,

my anchor is in your name, its in your name

It's in your name'.

(Still my foundations)

Well, i guess i have blogged. Empty home again, the chics have gone to roost, only one chic feels stuck, will soon be going to roost sha!

I actually feel like i just refueled, help me not wait till i am almost on empty to come to you, let me come to you half full or at least still of any good to you because when i am running on empty i am no good to you because nothing makes impact unless i remain in you and remember that you are source and i am the apple of your eye and i am crowned with a royal diadem, i am royalty no matter what anyone says. 

NOTE:

You only say the wrong things when you have forgotten who you are, to keep remembering, do have your quiet time.

I know its a drag but it also keeps you full so you don't have to be guessing but are constantly sure of my goodness...