Unmarried still: I talked about it!

He wanted me to tell him I was raped
I couldn't.

I know him pretty well and I am not ready for the questions
and the barrage of counseling sessions he would insist I do.

Of course there was no penetration.
You wonder why I say I was raped then
because the degree of penetration or lack of penetration does
no reduce the trauma

Rape is the fear and the going against another's will
It is the helpless feeling.

That is why I can recognize the feeling in a childless couple's eyes
That helpless feeling of, there is nothing I can do about it.

In other news, I told him about the guy I liked
I took a deep breathe and I said it
I don't know if he likes me back but I like him and its okay with me
I like him and I don't care what happens after
Admitting to liking him and handling whatever comes of it is what adults do
And I am an adult and I think he is mature.

I am growing up and I know there are a lot of things I will eventually
talk about and have to do to get to a good destination and I pray
that I will have the courage to do what I have to do

Peace!

I am actually growing up
And I am not afraid of crying
Or talking or laughing or hoping

Or having faith, afterall
I have got to LIVE.

Having faith that God will always take good care of me.

Unseen hands...

I believe the invisible
I receive the impossible

My faith is a huge path of my life
How do I exercise my faith in everyday life?

Its a choice
It is better not to leave it to chance
My pastor says, que sera sera is not for believers
You can always change things.

How to ignore the voice of the people saying no and believe God?
They have never said yes anyway
But God has never asked their permission to do you good before
he won't start now.

They will never believe in you
Part of it is jealousy, envy and just plain human nature
Another part is a doubt of the supernatural
and a trust in negative testimonies above the good testimonies
But you can't let them stop you.

Let your spirit receive God's word and rise like the eagles
Look at the mere men and pray for them
BUT operate like a God on this earth because you are not like the rest of the world
Soar!
You were born to soar
God is holding your hands and He won't let go
Stay with what He's said
Believe only the word of God
Doubt every negative testimony no matter how holy the lips you hear
them from are.

When the enemy wants to bring doubts, he brings it from those who think they
are so close to you that you will take their word above the word of God
Give God first place
The kingdom of darkness is terrified of you
NOT BECAUSE OF YOU SO MUCH AS BECAUSE OF WHO LIVES IN YOU
because you stand as Christ
Maintain your position
God is doing something and He has deployed every thing you need to win
Focus so that you would always see what He has prepared
You never lack and you cannot be disadvantaged
Those that are for you are more than those against you
Trust the Holy Ghost
He is here to help you, your legal advocate fighting your enemies on your behalf
your helper, leading your feet in the path that they should go

Keep your eyes of faith open and seeing
Do not judge after the seeing of your eyes and the hearing of your ears
God is for you!

Ignore unbelievers
You are set apart, mine; to be used to bring me glory
Keep on your whole armour
The fight is fixed in your favour always!

My new random post...

To redeem something is to buy or pay off, clear by payment, to discharge or fulfill, to recover, or to obtain the release or restoration of something (usually a debt). So when we say God is our Redeemer, it means that in spite of all, He has cleared us of any burdens, He has recovered all the cankerworm has eaten from our lives, and He has completely restored us to His perfection, covering our scars with His robe and restoring every dirty spot back to pureness. It's deep. What an awesome, God, that He chooses to redeem those in need of this. I'll stand with arms high & heart abandoned, in awe of the One who gave it ALL. 

When I say that @lightherlamp is my blessing, it may sound like a cliche but it is not. I literally used to eat spiritual food from blogs only. Yet I attend church on Sundays and Wednesdays but all that stayed with me was condemnation, only worship kept me going until I found lightherlamp a.k.a Jennifer Abayowa. It took me two years before I even heard her real name but she was a real blessing to me.

She is a breath of flesh air from the stilted atmosphere of ministry. the chase of the mega church can be crazy. All I want to do is serve but the craziness and the politics I refuse to condone. Let me not get carried away, Lightherlamp is a blessing

 It has been a while since I released my face consciously in another direction. 

Christ has redeemed me, He bought me, paid off my debts, he discharged and fulfilled the time to pay, Christ recovered and obtained the release or restoration of everything I could or the members of my family could ever owe this world system in Jesus name, amen. 

He has cleared us of any of our burdens, whatever they may be. He has restored all the cankerworm has eaten in my life, He has restored us to perfection, covered our scars with His robe, restored every dirty spot back to pureness and I am grateful.

This is my current petition, my prayer, my intercession, I will pray it until we become a praise, money will come forth for me and my family, we refuse to barely get by; we will experience the blessings of Abraham in Jesus name, amen. We will experience perfect wholeness in Jesus name, no managing in Jesus name, amen.

“But God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through.” 

-Francis Chan, Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God

Blog meme!

Hello everybody :) 
Saw this on youtube so i decided to make a post and not a video.
1. Is it cute when a guy kisses you on the forehead?
Maybe. If he's not lusting that is. Its a guy's strategy to get you comfy with him so you think he doesn't want sex. All guys want sex, married and unmarried.

2. Would you like a long love letter?
Maybe a long mail. I am not really into letters, maybe when I get more romantic.

3. Group dates or single dates?
Group dates, it helps me relax around my S.O before I decide if I want to take it further.

4. Is your hair up or down?
Long fits me, and then the semi short cuts fit me too. I am not a dreadlock girl, I doubt I will ever be.

5. Do you straighten your hair?
Retouch, yes. What does straighten mean, is it the one with the curling iron?!

6. Do you get your nails done?
If I get my nails done, I am either attending a friend's wedding or my wedding or I am trying to impress some guy which I hardly do.

7. Jeans or skirts?
I usually prefer denim but all my denims are pretty tight and uncomfortable at the moment so I am loving dresses and skirts presently.

8. Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelry that's uncomfortable?
I wear some absurdly short clothes but then I have always known I have great legs, from the moment I turned 9 so I doubt I will ever give up short skirts or short dresses.

9. Do you text a lot?
Not really.

10. What would you do if you got pregnant?
 I don't plan to. I don't believe in pre-marital sex

11. Whats your favorite color?
Navy Blue

12. Heels or flats?
Heels. I can't afford to be looking fat.

13. Did you ever cry during a romantic movie?
Gladiators

14. Would you ever leave the house without makeup on?
I do.

15. Do you think lipgloss is the best?
I do.

16. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
An hour and 30 minutes

17. Gold or silver?
I like both. I look different with both

18. On a scale of 1-10 how much do guys confuse you?
Maybe 10.

19. In the last 48 hours have you hung out with a guy?
No.

20. Do you wear lipsticks?
No

21. What age is the youngest you would ever date?
Mtchew! Is that an answer enough? I would date whomever I like.

22. Is it hot when guys are sweaty?
I don't think so.

23.What is the best possible feature on a guy
Sincerity and Kindness

24. Do you like making eye contact?
Not really. i just do sometimes

25. Do you ever picture your wedding dress or wedding?
I look fabulous. The groom also does but its my day now.

26. Would you kill for chocolate?
No. I will always have the resources for chocolate so no need to kill anyone.

27. Do you freak out if you miss your fav shows?
No I don't

28. Do you yell a lot?
Never.

29. Have you ever dressed unlike yourself to impress a guy?
Nope

30. Do you write a lot of mushy letter?
In my head

31.If you are to choose one makeup to use forever what would it be?
Eyeliner, makeup, eye pencil, lip gloss, loose powder

32. Do you fall in love easily?
Nope  

33. Do you have cramps right now?
Thank God. No

If you are interested in doing this, please do it, feel free!

Them that are led by the Spirit of God...

Hello,

So I want to write about recent happenings
My sister got married and it is a good thing
What some people said and prayed and plotted
that it wouldn't be done has been achieved.

I don't know what is on the grapevine
but there is certainly something brewing
Instead of people talking about the new word
they heard or something about God that excites

They talk about people, now it would be good
if they could change anything but they can't
and they don't even want to
I guess it is one of the characteristics of a megachurch

The people in a mega church are more interested
in other people's lives than in God
Well its my turn now and I am ready to get married

Come what may, God will walk with me on this road
I waas preoccupied again as usual
so when is it now that I can minister to someone
when my propagandist have gone ahead of me to
spread bitterness before I even get there


The word still blesses on twitter and on facebook
but in this church, no. And I am not the carpenters son
ordinary Jesus, I am the son of God

I know what they try to deny: the power of God
They are guaranteed to see more anyways
Cos it is not me, it is God doing His thingy so
He will answer them for me.

I know that they don't care but should they really? God is doing His thing
with or without their imput!

Hi

Wow

I know what I want
Everyone is doing their best to confuse me

I know what I want
I am just not sure what God wants

If he would just give me a word tomorrow

Holy Spirit
Give me discernment!

Hmmm

MTN made my life miserable today

To whom it may concern

You made your choice
I have made mine

Get out of my business and
stick your head in 'yours'

In other matters....

I am sorry for a sorry network!

The anointing breaks the yoke...

We are anointed, equipped for the task to which Christ has called us. It is that anointing which is all-important. 1 John 2:20,27(NKJ) “You have an anointing from the Holy One ... The anointing which you have received from him abides in you.” The word “unction” or “anointing” is the Greek “chrisma” from which we get the word Christ, the Anointed One. This “chrism,” the endowment of the Holy Spirit, is the secret of a true evangelist. Even Jesus Himself needed to receive the anointing to go about doing good and healing. Now why would Jesus need an anointing? He was flesh and blood that is why. So are we. It is the anointing which takes our voice and our gestures and adds to them a special new quality. No actor can imitate it. Watch an unconverted actor preach in a television play and it is so obviously artificial, like hearing a ventriloquist’s doll. There’s no soul in it. But the anointing breaks the yoke. God bless you. REINHARD BONNKE

 This post is basically about renewing my mind now. 

Would you believe if I told you that I forget that I was immortal because of the blood of Jesus and what it accomplished, I thought I was an ordinary human being because of the cares of this world, I forgot who I was. I forgot that I was seated in heavenly realms in Christ and that I could stand on the things that Jesus had done...

 I know the voice that speaks behind my voice, that gives me power, it is the Holy Ghost speaking through me.  1 John 2;20, 27 says that I, Tisha have an anointing from the Holy One, that the anointing I have received remains in me.

Unction means Chrisma, from the word Christ, it is an endowment of the Holy Ghost, the secret of a true evangelist. The bible says Jesus needed to receive the anointing to do good and to heal. 

 The anointing, that special endowment from the Holy Ghost takes my voice and my gestures and  adds a special new quality, it comes from deep inside, we know that we couldn't be that spectacular without the Holy Ghost, the anointing makes the difference.

The anointing of God's Spirit makes me more than a man

When we yield to the Holy Ghost, dropping our agenda's and whatnot, then He can use us for His glory and even when we bear His glory upon our lives, we still give Him the glory.

 The anointing of God's Spirit covers me and my family. I have the Spirit of gentleness.   

Laughter...

We play with kingdom matters a lot.
It is weird when you stand up and play games with children of God
In the name of Jesus.

It is so so wrong.
I am not one to judge but it beats my imagination
when someone will talk to another online under aliases
trying to do what, kidnap, set up
I just think that it beats my imagination

It is just amazing to me
I cannot understand why something like this will be going on in the kingdom
I am sure the angels are amazed also
because they check between our words and actions.

I am just being led by God's Spirit everyday

God is going to finish what He started
I trust in His goodness
I trust that the enemy will be caught in his craftiness
along with all his cohorts

I put my trust in the living God, He is my guide and protection
my way maker and the lover of my soul.

because of His unfailing love for me, He will stand to defend me
and put my adversaries to shame.
I just put my eyes on Him and thank Him daily for His mercy
is mind-blowing!

Secret of my life

I don't let any negative word land without giving a response from my spirit.

Who is my spirit sef?

2 Corinthians 5:17

If any man be in Christ, He is a new creation, old things have passed away and everything is made new.

I have been made new and the new things are of God, so where is the destroyed motherboard, you wish. I laugh in tongues. I have been made new. I know a lot of people have issues in marriage but that is to be expected. You sought through your issues. But the issues get irreconcilable when you don't have the Holy Ghost permission to go ahead and you do so. people think it is a joke when they are asked to grow in the lord, they think i don't have any issues so i shouldn't have to pray.

Praying keeps you sensitive to God and to the Holy Spirit. The most powerful thing you can ever do for your new man is to surrender to the lordship of the word, of the Holy Spirit and of love.

We skip the practical classes and play lip service to God, pleasing the people we can see with our human eye and displeasing the One who saved us just because we cannot see Him with the human eye.

"We Win" abi. But in their thought patterns they expect me to fail in marriage. Does 'we win' not apply to marriage also. All I know is that I am whole and complete in Christ Jesus.

Yes I was raped. But when I got born again, I became a new man and nowhere in the bible does it say that I must be counseled by anyone. That I got here today ought to let them know that I got help and I am not in the business of taking counseling from people who think it might be 50/50. The word of God works for me always.

scriptures say "...and your children will be taught of God" 

Holy Spirit, I thank you because you can teach me the phronesis I need for every stage of my life, I never walk alone because I have a Father who cares and who guides my path and doesn't see me as a project that may fail/succeed. he created me with the idea of victory in mind and He equipped me for everything that would come my way so that I have no excuse to fail in this life.

There is Zoe in my spirit and that zoe is active.

Love Day....

I was thinking of a more creative title but I couldn't come up with any. Why am I blogging today? Is it because I don't have anything to complain about anymore. Nope I was just thinking of the heroes of faith like Mary, Hannah and Elizabeth and how they dealt with their naysayers. Do you know that Elizabeth's naysayer was the closest one to her. \I don't know who her encourager was but that Mary came to her at 6 months. The announcement wasn't even made to her, it was made to the naysayer who was then struck dumb.

Let me quote one of my midwives:
"You're looking at the natural... conduct yourself as a daughter of the King at all times"

Imma do this, before she told me this, she asked me to distance myself from any kind of drama and pray for clarity. There is something to fight for obviously but I aint fighting because the battle is the Lord's, He knows what He wants to do and will accomplish His purpose. It is my responsibility to not be distracted so that I know how to obey Him at all times.

God loves me. He loves you too. You should focus on this. Happy Vals Day

Learn to tap into the supernatural and understand that you don't operate from the natural as a born again child of God, your spirit is alive and you can operate beyond the natural to the supernatural and that even though people may not understand you, you will be doing what please your Father. This is the narrow way!

What do you believe?

What you believe shows up in your actions?

Someone said, you have to burn the bridges behind you. When you believe with your words but not with your heart; inside your heart, you have doubts that of what you are saying. It would take the power out of your words.

I have burned my bridges behind me. It took a while for me to get here but it was all God, none of it was me; I can't take the credit for the good news because He sent many obedient people my way. They must have felt foolish saying those things but the words were my saving grace.

Like I said, what you believe shows up in your thoughts and in your actions.
Everyone is so focused on the outside appearances when they should be focused on the word of God, well I am a spirit being, a supernatural one for that matter and I am focused on the internals, on what God is saying and on the word of God.

Babies can be so amusing and so manipulative; adults in Christianity on the other hand just wait for God's instructions and they don't try to do things by themselves. Self-effort will destroy your Christianity but a lot of people don't believe that, but I do.

Holy Spirit, I thank you for your guidiance, I couldn't have gotten here without you, you are my defence and my strong tower. To be truthful, I am just waiting to be done here so that I can go and live the life that you have planned for me, not one that is controlled by another human being. I am not interested in being God, God has been so good to me and my family.

NB. I cream my dreams, it is all working together for my good.
I am led by the Spirit of God, I lost my way and I cannot say that I am as fluent as I was before I came here, but I am trying to fellowship with God consistently, till then I am not doing anything concrete. The Holy Ghost must cement any decision I make or I will change it as He wills.

A sad post...

I bet they think they hurt me...
No I am just sad for them, and rather than keep quiet, I chose to speak
And they showed me their irritation like I should care.

They want to stay the same, I want to move at the speed of light
I want to walk in the supernatural, they want to remain the same.
It would be all the same if I just stepped off the face of the earth
So they can remain the same before GOD happened.

There lies their mistake
I am not the one that happened
It is GOD who happened.

I am not quite sure what I should do
Because God started it,
I want to leave with everything that is in me
They showed what they felt were honest emotions but I do
not have to accommodate their honest emotions
They should shove all their stupid thoughts up their religious butts

I have a life to live and I do not answer to them
I have a problem with people who say they follow Christ but do
the opposite of what He would do.
I owe them nothing, nothing at all; because I did not give my life to them

I just wish they would acknowledge the word of God or go back to their
previous religions, the ones they have erected back in the place Christ may
once have held.

NB: I choose to lift Jesus up anyways in my own little way
Not just in words but in actions and thoughts also

NO more PRETENDING!!!

Happy New Year

Happy New Year folks...
I am in for much good this year!

Me....

What keeps me going...

This time, i direct you to a man of God who's celebrating the nativity through play and it is blessing me. Sometimes it is terribly lonely trying to follow the path God has set for you amidst many dissenting voices who believe they know what best you should do by experience. He's @drtonyrapu go check him out, he's really cool and spirit submitted.

Sometimes God does something so big you were expecting, but weren't really expecting and the people who you believe should encourage you are the ones who dissuade you. Sometimes it is so big that because you don't know the complete story you could make a mistake and follow the voice of experience. What stops me is the fact that the people speaking don't know the beginning of the story, the covenant is not with them but with God.

Like I sang along with Tye Tribbett yesterday and felt the stirrings of faith for the first time in a long time, "I have no other choice than to trust You..." the title of the song is 'No other choice' by Tye Tribbett. Sometimes all you can do is trust that God can take of you and your family better than you can and put your hands in His and walk with Him.

My heart broke when I said, "...but I know that every word You say is true..." because I can say the words but I know that my actions are contrary so I chose to make a U-turn and actually trust God when I say those words because He started the chain reaction and He can finish it.

Holy Ghost...

Spiritual things...
It aint planned
You just know what to hum when the time comes
It can be a laugh
A hum
Or a prayer
As long as God is the focus

Peace beyond my understanding!

"Those you don't pray don't see into the realm of the spirit, they only see what others see".

Am I praying? No I am done with the praying. I am in thanksgiving mode. Am I supplicating? Not really I am affirming the word of the Lord.
It has been a long time since I acknowledged that there was a realm of the spirit.
Has my mindset changed? I guess! I am renewing my mind, sha! I am tired of the microwave Christianity. How do you see into the realm of the spirit if you don't pray? Is it magic?

A thousand times, no.
The things I had forgotten on the road to pleasing man. I have been like humpty-dumpty for the last three years and still no one was pleased least of all, me. God may have been pleased some of the time. I am just so glad that He never left me. Who said ministry was easy?

I am worried and scared about the road I am on. I don't know if I can do it because no one has changed. I hate nothing more than human conflict and there is going to be a lot of it. Hardly anyone has the fruits of the spirit and unlike the gifts of the Holy Spirit, you need to obey the Holy Spirit to get the fruits of the spirit. His gifts are without repentance. His gifts are developed when you obey. Obedience is not easy but the rewards of obedience cannot be bought with money.

It is well with my soul.

Just obeying the saying, say to the righteous, It is well. 

Mine adversaries are many and they do not even pretend to oppose me, they are 'oha' about it. They have searched and searched for ways to disqualify me, at a point I stopped caring. It was after the weary time. The weary time was so horrible because I wasn't physically tired, I was weary in my soul and emotionally. I was emotionally drained and I had nothing to give; I didn't even know at which point the peace filled my soul. I just know that God sent me the midwives.

Thank you, Jesus. I couldn't have made it if you didn't send the midwives. I see the journey ahead and Lord, I just trust you to lead me in the right path.
I function in God's wisdom and the ability to fulfil all that You ask is in me in Jesus name, amen.

It feels good to be sincere!
 

Not so random...

You know
I should learn to pray seriously when the Holy Ghost tells me something

This morning He said, your power cord is not in your bag
I checked and it wasn't, i then ran upstairs to get it

You might think there is no gain but if i hadn't worked in the spirit
yesterday, i would have regretted it.
I am down with walking in the spirit so much more.

All he did was ask me to rebuke depression and suicidal thoughts
I did albeit a little adamantly
It is embarrassing to pray such prayers but i did anyway.

I thank God that God answered my 'not good enough prayers'

Only God knows what made me get satisfied with living as if the spirit realms
doesn't exist.

You see, my dad is a witch/wizard, whatever, point is that he serves the
devil actively, he fasts, gives money and all that, for the devil who doesn't love him

Whatever, i am going to be so much more conscious of the realm of the spirit
not so i fear demons but so i am convinced that angel michael, angel gabriel
and all those other wonderful angels of God are waiting to do my bidding
when i pray the word.

When i rebuke any spirit, the angels go to work and make the demons powerless
I thank you Father because I am going through.

I will get to the total manifestation of my miracle because this is what God wants for me
and my family

Jehovah- Omni Potent God is my God
All powerful

I don't even need to grow my faith because it is the faith of Jesus
All i need to do is starve my doubts and all the sources of doubt
common sense abi
That is why i walk by faith and not by sight

And i drink from the rivers of God's pleasure!

Peace!

random: annoying thingz

I cannot cope with lying, gossiping and intending to manipulate me or intimidate me with gossiping, I just don’t respect that. I can respect the fact that some people are such criminals that unless they use the world system in winning a battle they think is worth it, they are not satisfied! At least, I am getting used to it.

I feel like I am gossiping!

Thoughts!

I talked with someone today and as much as my strong self-will has been a blessing, it is going to be a problem because guys see it as a challenge, something to destroy before they get the Golden Fleece. I have still not seen a perfect match and I am going to get something of a reputation or I am going to have to learn to communicate my non acquiescence to the intentions of some guys towards me. I am sure someone is putting the word out; they are choking me with their intentions because it seems like a race and I don’t do anything like a race. By the way, they are a far cry from my imagination.

I want something real, and most especially something I won’t regret. Patience is a very important factor because my mom tried time and again to break my self-will and thank God, she did not succeed else I would not have survived the rape in 2000. It’s a testimony of the goodness of God that I don’t cry when I hear the word rape any longer. Even when young ladies use it against me, I don’t feel it any longer.

I just can’t seem to have those inane conversations that are going nowhere. I break the pact to walk in love today and I am back on track right this moment. When am I going to get it right? Did the apostle John get it perfectly right ever, it was rumoured in 1^st Century Christianity that John was the apostle who won more souls by his display of love and the divinity of God and I do so want to be like that; though I don’t resemble the picture of where God wants to take me to because my flesh is used to having its way and does not like being disciplined.

God loves me so much, I want to love Him that much and give my life for Him if necessary, I want Him to guide my steps, I want to see the light in every situation so that I know what to do every time so that I am led by the spirit of God always.

I don’t feel anything for those twats anymore. It’s just annoying that they are still talking about me; I wish they would leave me alone and hold on to God. Hold God, leave me, I am a daughter of God, all your schemes and scams against me are not going to succeed, God is protecting me even when I am not aware!

Honorable men...

I love men
Contrary to popular beliefs
I love responsible men (qualified)
I love men of vision and power
men who can see where they are going to.

I love men who can respect women
all the time
I love men who can take responsibility
Who have a home and prepare for marriage

I am preparing for marriage
I haven't picked a man yet, Too busy naming
but i am preparing
So a man who wants to find a woman before
he prepares is a joker

I love men
Courageous men

Unfaithful me, flirty men, rude men are a turn off
Disrespectful men, gossipy men they are a turn off
men who cheat in their business or other dealing are
a turn off
men who lie are a turn off

A minister @hartramsey said all men lie
He nearly caused me to backslid because he
implied that the new creation still lied
that all of the power of the blood of Jesus could not
stop a new creation man from lying

I almost asked if he knew the Jesus he was talking about
or he had created another one for his vocation

whatever
i don't hate men
i just don't approve of men who have not
discovered their purpose in God

Peace!

Mtschew!!!

Why do ministers think they have to have spic and span past?

It is sick. Why would people lie on and on? Are they silly or what? God loves me, no matter whether i am spic and span or not, His word makes me clean.

I have heard so many lies this afternoon, i doubt the Holy Spirit will be able to work with lies. All that God asks for is that the gospel is preached. I don't see anywhere where he asks Peter or John or Phillip to lie and whitewash their stories by themself.

I am a sweetheart that does not take any bullshit, if i want to give anyone advice, the first thing that will be coming out of my mouth will not be lies. By the way whatever foundation is built on lies will not stand.

Why do people prefer public opinion to what God thinks?

I was talking with a friend and she says that a girl who got pregnant as a teenager would not be willing to keep her pregnancy if it happened today? i promptly told her that the girl who kept that pregnancy is a better christian than the one who would abort because of shame. By the way God's opinion matters more and anything done because of public opinion just proved that religion had gained the upper hand in the life of the individual and that relationship had gone out of the window.

I can tell you categorically that any person like that is living empty and on the verge of a breakdown? what really is christianity?

Holy Spirit, keep me straight.
let pleasing any man not be more important than me pleasing you
Help me put God first

God doesn't heal you because you are walking right or your good works
More than His healing, a relationship with Him matter more
By the way, the confidence of His love for you gives you confidence and
no one will ever be able to threaten you because you know Who owns you

Selah

Ministers and their desire to lie: as if it makes them more righteous than the one purchased for them with the blood of Jesus, that is just the height of insecurity, i don't care what anyone thinks of me, He has made me righteous, i don't need any human's approval to make me feel better and i don't need to prove anything to anyone.

random

I wish i had some negative emotion to share
just to watch my blogger page come alive and people scrambling
to advice me, but unfortunately, the negative emotions are gone.

The hurt, the anger, the pride, the fear, they are all gone
In its place is courage and faith.
In their place is the prophecies he sent me long before time.

"Young Lady, have faith in God"

I will have faith, because the Most High God
the creator of the heavens and the earth cared about me
enough to send me word.

My garden, my heart is fine
the sand, the stone, the rocks are gone
My heart is soft to the word of God and the Spirit of God again

I just know that God knows and understands
more than that, He knows what He is doing
I am so sure of the things that He has told me

I have learnt to move beyond the physical mediators on earth
God did not appoint anyone anyways, even Jesus carried our confessions
Jesus does not say to ask Him for anything, He says we should ask the
Father in His name, that wonderful name

Just basking in the love of God

My babushka, my praying grandmother has gone to be with God
I promised myself i wouldn't have any regrets but i already have one
I regret not spending enough time with her and not being caring enough
I never knew she was dying, i had no idea and that hurt me so much

My solace is that she is with God and that i will see her when i go to meet Jesus
some sixty something years from now
She lived till 95 but i thought she would be like her mom
who lived till 120. It was not to be, my grandma had only one child
but she affected so many and they said, we must all wait for them to gather
from around the world to come and honour her.

You know: everyday i make my own plans, but God has His way with me
I have learned that in my life, God is the welcome interrupter
so no matter how many plans i make, i know He'll butt in to direct me
on to the right path.

that's it

Good news: i am writing like a locomotive
coined from my childhood phrase: "smoking like a locomotive"

Laters

Content

I am just content

Yes, they are still talking
Yes, they still show their hatred
but it is not for the reasons they campaigned about
It is just pure ambition
Ugly religion
They admit their faults but carry as usual.

Not intimidated
Not anymore
I have lost all the illusions i had about them
Was worried about my faith
But it is that much stronger for the storm it
has walked through

I have come through smelling good
wiser, smarter,
was cynical
but guess what?

My enthusiasm is back and now anytime
they come at me
I just rise higher

Knowing that God has His hand on me does give me
more confidence

Totally nuts...

All i know for sure is that they are 'nuts'
Today was a lil' day in their meddlings for them

Then in the middle of their story
She warns him to be careful that she is the new mrs B
I don't understand, was he married before?

yeah, i said it
They are absolutely sick
She gave the game away
Of course, instead of him to preach and let God
do the speaking
He planned a little speech about some information
he wants to get across and uses the devotion
as his little tool for transferring info to me

I wish he would just have the guts to speak to me directly
She is a pawn, who cares about her
I hope she enjoys her struggles, i can honestly
say i am glad i am not in your position
Not that i expect that to make her secure
her biggest problem has always been insecurity

What is that saying about money and marriage?
It magnifies what was already there before
Good luck getting on with your life...
Just don't make it about me, i am done with your games
and all the rubbish you want to spend the rest of your life doing
leave me out of your mess, you got in yourself
deal with it.

Meanwhile, i am walking by faith with a vengeance
no apologies to anyone
I don't play politics, will never play it
For me, it silences the Holy Ghost
And without Him, i can't see tomorrow

My pastors (the both of them) told me to keep silent
After this rant, no more talking and showing off
I didn't do anything special to make the Holy Spirit
take an interest in me, other than depending on Him

Nuff said!

I wanted to delete the previous post
I have forgotten but i thought it was an offloading of how i was feeling then
I want it recorded
You can't change others
But you can change yourself.

I have decided to walk in love
So just before July begins, i am deciding to walk in joy
and in faith and in love
They are spiritual fruits that should manifest because i have
the Holy Spirit and i have decided to use every opportunity
to grow in these two fruits
God would be well pleased and i would have improved my lot

Yes you guessed it
I have fasting so this wicked flesh is not quite as in control
as it used to be
My spirit is rising up...

Gone before i have really put up anything, yeah
I need a filter so that i don't reveal everything about me
So i can't write too much
I can only whet your appetite a lil'

One thing for sure
I am working on my r/ship with God!

@hartramsey picked on me

I have it in for @hartramsey…

The guy claims to be a pastor, I don’t how true that is but being a pastor is no excuse for lying and thinking you are God. He has got to change his attitude problem, your sheep are in church, not every believer is your sheep and we are not under any obligation to agree with your personal opinion. I believe the word of God, but I sure as heck will not believe that God anointed you so you can go about calling women hoes.

He made a big mistake when he decided to up and call me hoe for no reason other than the fact that I asked that he be decent and mature enough to correct people with the word of God instead of opinion, all that kept coming out of his mouth were insult.

My old friend once told me that the greatest men were the ones who had mastered humility, well @hartramsey has none. Anyone that dares to disagree with his opinion gets blocked and insulted. The insults I will not tolerate. No patience whatsoever, I wonder if he’s ever read Gal 5:22 and if he knows that the believer is not called to obey just the scripture that pleases him but all of God’s love.

He preaches grace but in his attitude and character, he does not know or understand the meaning of that word, I wonder how the women in church cope with his insulting bullying habit. Then he had the temerity to say that I was after the number of followers he had on twitter. That is such neurotic behaviour because if the members of his church are as unloving as him then I am not missing much.

His church may be a business but I am doubly sure that it is not a place of transformation. He’s going to regret insulting me all because of his business of twitter because if you are defending God (and we are not called to defend God) you would not have to insult anyone to accomplish that.

I had the misfortune of trying to explain to his sister @jenellethemodel about her brother’s uncouth behaviour and lack of courtesy towards any kind of woman and she refused to get it. He ought to wash his mouth out with soap any time he insults women maybe that would teach him to bridle his tongue.

“LOL! She is so blocked and forgotten. Lol! Thank God He remembers her b/c I don’t”

I do remember you nigga because your speech talk less of actions are always demeaning and degrading. Who gives you the right to insult a woman you do not know in exactly the same way you insult the women in church in the name of preaching Jesus to them. I know his business (church) is running just fine, next time I ask him the meaning of preaching and thirsty, he should just answer instead of insulting many women in the name of correcting a particular person if that is the way to correct someone you supposedly love. His congregation are in trouble, big one!

“She came after me so she can put me on blast to my FEW followers. No loss”

“She came after me with another account”

So to him, it’s a profit and loss statement, he does not realize that he’s dealing with human beings, I for one. God made him a steward and he protects his stewardship by lying on unsuspecting women who ask what he means by insulting women and calling them preachy and thirsty…he can’t explain and so he says I support women hoeing around. In another life, women must have dealt him hard blows because I know it is not my encounter that causes him to hate women always enough to be constantly insulting them.

What I don’t get is how he gets off thinking he has the right to call any woman hoe, who does he think he is?

“Some Nigerian chick counselling me that single sisters who hoe around are just going thru a phase & shouldn’t be admonished”

Now here is what I said:

Here is how it started:

@ctdaviswife: Single ladies its not good to be preachy and thirsty @hartramsey #WifeLife Lol I didn’t get many amens on that 1.

Next

@hartramsey I’m married and it blessed me. Most preachy people are sad, broke and lonely #The deepshallow

Seeing as a married responded to a single quote, I did busy body and responded and said he should use the word of God to address issues instead of the insults he’s used to from the ghetto. He has a loose tongue that insults more than it builds.

I almost regretted having the convo with @hartramsey but I don’t, it helped me understand the kind of person he is and I have unblocked the nigga. I briefly thought about insulting him and calling him dog and dog associations, gigolo, thief and many other names on his twitter page in a bid to be just as immature as he was but I decided it would not be worth it. My suggestion is that he stop calling women hoes and using the word as a weapon against believers.

In the words of the eight year old me, he should go and pick on someone his own size, since we are kids and whatnots in his presence, he should try picking on the devil…