Lord, what do i do with all this dirt?

Why are people always throwing dirt at me. Well, a seed can't grow if it's not covered in dirt. Much dirt much harvest. 

I have been complaining lately about this. People hear news, forgive me, i mean gossip about me and forget what the gospel says, why is that?
You cannot impact someone you hate or resent neither can you see any good about them, all that you will see is gloom and doom. What does the gospel of Jesus Christ have to do with gloom and doom?


These judges, self appointed and pharisees, they tick me off, how did i ever cope before now? Why do they feel the need to compete with me or gossip about me with the intention to run me down and think they do God a favour? Did God ask them for a favour? 
I don't need their help because they have no answers and all they do is yack, yack yack at me and at the end of the day, nothing has changed but they have exercised their mouths again. They want to offer pity, i don't need it, are you deaf? I don't want your pity!


I am not supposed to defend myself rights abi. So i am supposed to ignore them, and when i do they get pissed, they expect me to confide in them so this time they should have confirmed yacking, o sorry no, righteous yacking, approved by the lord. I don't understand why they can't see it. Or why they won't. They want to help, uh nope, they care how things look on the outside without taking heed to their inside, its all about what everyone think, tis matters even more than what God thinks. Let me try to understand why: you know we can't see God but we can see ourselves so let's focus on making everything look good even if it aint, let's pretend!
No i don't think so, i will not be pretending along with you, do your thang, just don't drag me along with you on the pretend game.


I think it'd be easy for them to realize that not everyone likes to be fake, some people would like genuine faith and genuine smiles. Like me for example, i don't want to be transparent and smile genuinely at you and then hear all the nasty things you say behind me, it doesn't make for comfortable conversation and trust. If you have talked about me behind my back, never expect me to be vulnerable with you because all i am giving you is content for news to be discussed on Sunday, wednesdays and maybe other times we need to discuss God's dirty linen and how we get rid of it (religious mind at work again) and of course opposition and persecution to get the people in line with what God says, what happened to grace? 
Of course some persecution are Jesus approved, Jesus loves gossip and backbiting... (I just want to see somewhere in the gospel of Jesus Christ where this is approved)
Why would you want to know something you have no solution for, or something you think the blood of Jesus is defenseless against? Get real, focus on the things you can deal with, things you can't deal with, let it be!
Stop the picking and the prodding, stop attacking my dreams, face yours!


Pissed!

The truth about moi

The truth about me
The ugly truth about me is:
That although i clean up good and am well brought up
Without God, i'm simply UGLY
Not externally but inside
I am pretty much as frail as other humans like me

The difference when i'm really admirable
is that i let the Holy Ghost shine through

and when i don't
there you have it again
UGLY

What am i saying?
He makes me beautiful
But that is not why i love Him
I love Him because His grace saved me
made me worthwhile
Made me able to give grace also
and to have the patience to see beauty
in others when God gains His position as Lord in their hearts

Grace
makes the difference for me

Correction: People don't give Christianity a bad name
that is legalism and religion speaking...
Christianity could never have a bad name, all you have to do
is remember the CROSS, nothing is as awesome as the cross

Guess what?
I don't feel condemned by you because my justification does not come by you
I feel sorry for you being so ignorant as to think that anything in you could
justify you.
Only GRACE does it!

Grace vs Law
I'd still choose grace
Difference is i learnt to give others grace, i started by giving rapists grace
If you have read all of my blog, you must have known how difficult that was
But it helped give me the heart that everyone finds so beautiful now
I had to learn to forgive to even access the heart of God...

Be ravenous to learn about God, it's the only way, stop being a smart ass
He can't work with already filled heads

By the way, i'm dropping the bad habits i picked from you of judging people
and trying to save them in my own strength
You should have figured out by now that it doesn't work, it only produces
hard hearts, only soft hearts can receive the word of God.

I love you for real!

I would never have known anything about love
Had i not met Him
Of course i had met other 'hims'
they always had their expectations
but from Him i had acceptance

If i can't shout about redemption
adoption
son-ship
inheritance
i can shout about His presence

He is a supernatural God o
me i no fit shout
My Abba
I love you
Had i never found You
My life would have been empty

Everyone has their definitions of love
Me, i believe you are love
All the attributes of love can only be done
when i put you first
If not face it"s impossible, loving others the way you do
that is

But then that is what is special about love
its supernatural
i think imma let it all go
tired of living as less than i could be

Love is in me
thus i love like You
I'll love like You
and when i fall short of Your standards
I'll depend on your grace to try it again

cos like it or not
there is no going back
I'm following Christ
I'm following You
so i want to love like You do

Happy Valentines day

As some brother used to always say

"I love you with the love of God"

I am excited about 2012

God, you are it
I am letting it all out

Supernatural, help me remember Holy Spirit...

I refuse to operate in the natural when there is supernatural

I wait on God
I hate being followed
I am not God, just a servant of the most high
I am God; but not God in His supremacy

I still take my calls from God
even though i am being blocked
God is at work in me in spite of the adversity
and controversies and heresies and jealousies

I just want to be above it all
It's just delay
I want to be absolutely Kingdom minded
That is the only way God can use me in any way
I just want it all fast, fast so i can get on with my life
Because i don't think this is the life God has for me

So much struggles and a true believer doesn't struggle
or wrought his miracles with his will power

Lord i submit to you
in words and actions and purpose...

You are working good for me and mine
Thank you Jesus

No matter what it looks like, compare the picture in your mind, to what you are currently seeing, and know that it gets better. You can transition from "now" to better, through prayer, preparation, perseverance, and positive written reminders, hence "Write the vision, and make it plain on tablets, so they that see it, can run with it," Habakkuk 2:2.  

Prophetess Teracarissa

baring my heart I

You know i honestly get tired of blogging this stuff
but i just need to offload some...

My environment tried to take me and shape me and make me
and many times i thot and felt that it had succeeded
I thought she had died, the one who lived to hope
But i discover today that she is not dead, i found out that
she's alive and stronger today than before she went into the fire
She certainly has stronger principles and a greater understanding of people
stronger values and a deep sense of what love really is
She understands God more and His plans and purposes
She loves better today than yesterday, she has a greater sense of right & wrong
and in spite of the darkness in the world; so dark you really have no idea

Through it all,
She has chosen to shine, come rain or sunshine
she is going to shine not like the stars but like the sun

Scriptures say that 'as He is in heaven, so are we on earth'

The new chic is convinced beyond the whims and caprices of man,
God does rule, He works everything according to the counsel of His will

Aside:
I thank God i did not let the 'cynic' grow inside me. God loves me so much
he kept my heart strong enough and soft enough for growth.

I refuse to operate in the natural when there is a supernatural.

cont'd tomorrow!

Getting to know 'Tisha'

Getting to know you Blogfest

1. Name two [romantic suspense] authors who inspire you.

Francine Rivers: 

She is awesome and also Christian so you don't have to worry that it is directing your heart towards loving a rake. I have read all her books excepting the most recent "Her Daughter's Dream"

Ted Dekker:

He helps me understand romance from a guy's point of view, most times they only do it just to please women.

2. How did you start writing in your genre?

I have been writing since i was eleven.

3. You've landed a meeting with your dream agent. Write a one paragraph pitch to sell your novel to him/her.

She walks with a perfect gait, she is a black haired young woman with dreams and determination to achieve her dreams. Like all good things, it hasn't come easy but she is not going to give up on her dreams, she walks to her office building with enthusiasm and confidence.

4. Sabotage or accident- which would put your female lead through and why?

Sabotage, it happens ever so often and almost everyone has gone through one betrayal or another from close friends.

5. Plotter or Pantser? Who are you?

I don't know who a pantser is. I think i am a plotter, i get a story and i start writing and as i write, the story starts changing and getting more interesting with the twists and turns. I plot a story but i give the novel the freedom to go where it wants.

____________

This Blogfest is a carryover from the Platform Building Campaign and was organised by JL Campbell of the Character Depot

Building...

Faith starts with knowing God loves you.

From the time i was a little child i used to sing this song:

He loves me, i cannot say why) 2ce

On Calvary's tree, he suffered for me

He loves me, i cannot say why.

Until i had a reason to doubt His love i wasn't so sure, i never did talk about many of the fellowships i went to who preached condemnation and every time after they had preached i would say, Jesus definitely doesn't love me, i am no longer perfect. Even in my beloved fellowship at times when my 'gist' would get around, some of the pastors would preach condemnation but my head pastor stuck to the truth in spite of how he might have wanted to join the crowd and i got my teenage bible where i was like the Berean (always cross checking), soon i was a bible scholar knowing what God was saying to me. So He loves me and i could never doubt it.

Scripture says 'Believe and you will see'

Don't trust in what your eyes can see, trust in what God reveals to you in your spirit as you spend time with him enough to hear. I have had the opportunity to believe before i see several times but my real name means favor and so i just happen to believe that God always reserves the best for me. He is a perfect God and His mercy is towards me always. He fixes that matches i fight so i am constantly sure of victory even though i am not physically super strong but the Holy Ghost is constantly waiting to help me, my hero, my super man.

I love to worship. When i worship, i seem so invincible, at that very moment i believe that i can do anything and i am not afraid of nothing, His presence makes me strong. I know how to surrender and give Him everything. I have been criticized for worshiping severally, told i wasn't good enough or perfect enough to worship but no one can stop me from doing something from which i get strength.

The God who loves me, His word is infallible, i believe it! Yep i said it. I believe the word of God. I am grateful for His love. His word is my energizer and quickener, i love God. Yes, it is because He loved me first but heck i didn't even know love before i met Him.

Another lesson is that all things are created by thought.

I choose to discipline my thoughts and cast down every wrong thinking pattern by the help of His word, my latest goal is to renew my mind. I have been praying, thank God for grace. I feel like i have been in a desert and just come out to an oasis (The spirit of God & the word of God)

Moammar Gaddafi is dead!

@washingtonpost: VIDEO: Moammar Gaddafi shown reportedly killed in Sirte Rhttp://wapo.st/oh54d0

It's sad abi i have to retort to this to get some attention. I am not sad to say that I am happy this man who has caused so much sadness for people in Libya is dead. It sounds almost as good as when i discovered at midnight on twitter that Osama Bin Laden was dead. 

I have missed all my tweet family and when i went to ex sch nerd's site i discovered why, they are hopping from blogger to twitter to google plus.

Olufunke is back and she wrote something on how she is thankful and then listed so many things i don't identify with so much. Not so much that it isn't true, it is just difficult for me to rejoice because things are not going so well.

I am thankful because His love for me is unending. I am thankful because He has good plans for me even though i may not see them yet but they are true. I am thankful that He has a good life planned for me, that He takes care of my family that He knows tomorrow and that i am connected to Him *I think this is a great way to be thankful*. I am sorry about all the people that did not make it but i will not be one of them, i am a conqueror because He lives in me.

Myne does not comment here any longer and maybe it is because i am not nice but i am not in the mood to be nice to anyone, i am in a blunt mood, i tell it as it is! She does have a new interesting novel she is writing about, i love true romance for anyone that is interested, you can click above.

I have been bugging my dad, what is my best phrase? 

"What can a man give in exchange for his soul?"

as much as he has done wrong (so much) i wish he could really commit to God and i pray to God for him that He would divinely encounter God and it seems so impossible but i am unimaginably favoured to be serving a God who doesn't want situations that seem like He can deal with them, He's not intimidated so He can deal with them and take care of my family too.

 PS

I think i am done picking on folks 

You  can check it at the link above...

I still live

*I thing the blogfam have given up on me, no comments on three posts


Unrepentant:
Showing no regret for one's wrongdoings
The lady from yesterday, yeah, i am sure you guessed that she is unrepentant, people are saying i should have pushed her back. Instead she told me she wasn't my mate; yes, she isn't, she's my colleague whether she likes it or not and she has no right to be rude to me, and i will teach her so.


I am writing the imagery of what is going on
my chest is constricted, i can't breathe
I feel like a vise is tightening my neck,constricting me, my essence
As i walk, i see all eyes  no many eyes full of hatred
open hatred, deep hatred
I go somewhere to a room and i am pushed, twice!
disdained openly, disrespected and embarassed
The environment is so threatening
 I wonder how i got here and why
everything is so tough seems so tough
The words on the inside of the walls
speak of hope, restoration, but barely outside the walls
all i hear is mocking laughter, the struggle for survival
the harsh terrain of the world system, shocking contradictions
I feel calm on the inside
everyday the waves of hostility
try their darndest to shatter my fortress of calm
and i am tempted to break my fortress
and walk in the flesh and in what i see with my human eyes
judgment, their own personal opinions of how everything MUST go


But i refuse to be bogged down
I refuse to come down to the fleshly, earthly, sensual, carnal, slave to my senses level
I am a slave to righteousness, dead!
I am dead to the emotions, whims and caprices of man, even mine
My face is set in one direction only
I am unmoved by the very loud voices of unspoken words
God is working, i am convinced He's bringing me GOOD
Even when mouths are forced to remain closed
the eyes still speak but i look beyond them to the countenance of my God, He is the creator
skilled in creating GOOD circumstances as i keep SPEAKING what He has said


As He is, so am i in this world and so in spite of what i see, i speak forth into the spiritual realm,
a new beginning for me and my family, we are expectant not just of new lives; we are expectant
that towards us as we believe, God is bringing us GOODNESS beyond our imagination


Even as i am aware that my name is in the mouth of many and thus in their homes
been smeared and another attempt to take me down, i smile into the eyes of the enemy
(Yes i am not unaware of the devices of the enemy)
I smile and say into the eyes of the enemy "In case you forgot, i told you i am a winner, more
than a conqueror, an overcomer in this life" 
Lol, a loud conquering laughter, Yes i can
You're gonna have to do more than that to take me down
and even then you won't succeed. I am marching forward, I can't be defeated
have you forgotten that He lives in me?
I haven't! The One who raised Jesus from the dead, He lives in me
Do you think He's just lying fallow, He's working in me, He's working in my family
He's doing the unimaginable, the incredible, He's energizing me and my family daily
He's doing wonders in me and in my family and i will yet see the marvels of God all the days of my life
I and my family will live a long and satisfying life (God's mind, man just learns from experience)
So i'm ditching my own mind and using the mind of Christ.


Later!


NB It's awesome to be a Christian, I am grateful to be connected to Christ. My imagination cannot be reined in, it runs, flies and soars free. I love this, it's not motivation, no not at all! It's divine inspiration, it's because He lives in me. He's not fallow or barren; He's alive and working in me.


State of mind: I wanna dance, let go, run free!

Obnoxious: 

Annoyance is an unpleasant mental state that is characterized by such effects as irritation and distraction from one's conscious thinking. It can lead to emotions such as frustration and anger. The property of being easily annoyed is called petulance, and something which annoys is called a nuisance.

This might have been me if i responded to her provocation...God forbid!

I have made a decision to speak to this lady today because she was obnoxious and totally nasty and i will not take it lying down, i am going to talk to her now. She assaulted me physically in a room full of people and there is no excuse for such behavior especially when i was not begging her for anything. I hate this stupid system, i wonder how she sleeps at night or if she sleeps at night.
If i wanted to be understanding i would say that she is a deeply disturbed woman with so many problems she cannot afford to display courtesy to anyone but i am not in the mood fro being nice. She is very nasty and should just prune out that bad character trait or remain a babe forever.

She's gone home but i am sending a text to her tonight, she is going to have to change her behavior; no one rough handles me and gets away with it. It is certainly not Christ-character in anyway whatsoever and i am not looking the other way. I know she might never change but my growing up life taught me to never let anyone get away with assaulting me physically and she is going to hear it. I am just not going to be a 'hood rat' or an 'isaleko'  gal and fight with her in public.

If she was looking this cool, i may have even obliged her and it might have been a cat fight
but i daresay she is not a worthy adversary... (I just ignored her and walked out and to think that she thinks
she is better than me because she is rude, nasty and is not concerned about giving people their money's worth but
honest, i am just so pissed that she is Christian and she saw nothing wrong with harassing me physically, i am going
to talk with her tonight!)

Some people don't realize that Christians don't abuse other people physically, they don't talk nasty either but most people don't care about keeping God's word they think they are in a country club where everything goes!

I had a rhetorical question, it basically read: Can good come out of evil?

I don't know the answer, i don't care, i just i think! need to vent.
I feel contaminated, kidding! I know who i am, feelings are not reality.

Today i heard this silly rationalization and i had to comment, funny enough she did not get the answer right but i have been warned to stop correcting people, especially when they don't want to know the truth, i held my peace because many times people just want to sound knowledgeable.

When self meets God's will and self prevails, then self has got to be strong enough. I don't want to ever be strong enough for myself. I would lose my way if i had to walk blind. I broke through yesterday.

#Just wondering
It is used on twitter to describe a statement but here i intend to process and describe what i want to say.

It is strange to me, i don't know if it is strange to others but i am talking about me at this moment.

Question: How do you spend 24 hours a day (including sleeping time) expecting evil news, and then out of the blue you expect the goodness of God?

News gong! (just imagine it)
You cannot meditate on evil or wrong or bad things 24 hours a day and produce good, only a good heart produces good and that is determined by the content of that heart.

Bear in mind, you can say all the good things and yet have your heart full of all the wrong things (It is not only a word thing, it is also a heart thing).

It is unhealthy spiritually  for a believer to live that way, key word being BELIEVER.

I don't do anything in half measures. When i decided to follow Jesus, i promised i would do it all the way or I'd walk away #ToBeAFakeBelieverIsUnacceptable.

If i say i am a believer then it means that i believe God's word and all my actions follow through; so i am expecting good every single day.

Feel free to live every single day of your life observing 'lying vanities' i choose not to. That said, Go to hell!

I don't care what you believe, i don't care if you believe or not, all that i care about is that i believe and that God honors my belief in Him and in His goodness. I don't care about anything but that i believe cause that means that i am a believer not a pretender.

If i find out even for one minute that i am pretending, i'll walk away before living a lie.

What do i think?
Hmmm!
I need to meditate
I never rush anything

By the way, God is still involved!
With me
and vice versa

Talking with God again

Getting intimate

I realize i went away

or went my own way

However much i tried to hold on

But He never let go

God is faithful

Now i have a lot of bad habits

to prune (more like uproot)

and i am working on them

I developed some really great stuff

I need to fine tune

Usually i knew that the devil

was my adversary and enemy

Now i am learning i have other enemies

like malice, unforgiveness

anger, judgmental attitudes

and that they are my enemies

because they stand in my way

stopping me from being open with God

I have won the battle o

worked on all these things 

i mean

I don't want any little foxes

spoiling my vine,

nothing is worth all that

Relationship with God comes first...

I need to guard the anointing of God's spirit on my life

Guard my heart, fight for my faith, His grace is sufficient

I won't settle for being a robot

I want a vital relationship with God

constant communication

cos only then can anything else make sense!

Peace!

Today is a special day...

It's my dear friend's birthday today
Her name is 'T' and it's so awesome this her day
Many people may not be happy with her
But in her ears angels are singing, (she told me so)

Because many people said she's not live to see this day
But when God says yes, he means yes, even when other people say no
Yes i said it!
You can take it to the bank

She said God promised her stuff, he walked between the animals for Abraham'
Well he did something similar for her and she says,
He told her that anything he told her, she could take it to the bank
She is one of the reasons my faith is so strong
She is somehow like my twin sister, and i love her.

So God said,
and she is still waiting
still under His care
Still waiting at His feet
I spoke to her this morning and she says
Yes, she has received gifts
But her best gift that she would have wanted this year
She received in September 2001;
The  best ever, the Holy Ghost
and that He may not be of much value to others
but when she got born again, God told her that is what
She would need most...

So she could never do with any other thing
anything else, for her or anyone else is just
'jara'
Happy Birthday my friend 'T', i love you.

Tisha's naija Glossary
'jara' - an addition to something already complete; if added or not, it would not be missed!

Nope...

I'll be maintaining both blogs
The blog is me, and i don't want to close it.

I am re-fired!
I am not sure if i have much to write
But i am sure of this one thing

God is good and still loves me


Of course, I am walking in His purpose for me
It is clearer now than two years ago and three
Difference is that i am less naive

I think i understand when Paul said
"We are not aware of the devices of the enemy"
There has been awesome growth
But there is room for more

My heart is good with God and with man
I'm under his divine influence

The scripture i am using now, the one i used three years ago
because i've been fluctuating in the fruits of the spirit
and i am known by my fruits so...
I need to use up my resources to build up the fruit of the spirit
and fellowship with God and walk as wise men.

I am in the school of the spirit, Holy Spirit, help me walk the path.

2 Pet 1:5
"And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; and to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; and to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity"

Hi, i a moving  blogs

Still writing uninhibited...
Just moving blogs.
New blog
http://tishaseekingintimacywithjesus.blogspot.com/

Got my blogging mojo back...

My thoughts undiluted
"They are so cunning..."

Dear Lord,
I grow weary of praying for them (all of them, else i could not stay around them). I pray for myself now, i pray that my faith would not fail me.

They very nearly drew me into the pit of unbelief (I became thinking in like manner subtly). With all i have been through, i trust you now more than ever before because through every fire, you have shown yourself strong and able to defend me.

It's spiritual warfare, the fact that everyone actively fought me and did their best daily to discourage me, myself included (It actually built me up and made me stronger) shows that God has a plan for my life.

My mind has been busy (it's not easy to be intelligent, it gets in the way,  usually) creating alternatives like what i would do (It reminds me of the jungle in my mind before i got healed the first time). I pray my spirit is alert and conscious enough to key into your plan for me.

I have been praying steadily, as the burden come but not much at work, there's too much tension!

I remember the campmeeting i first got healed, right before any minister spoke, i would rebel in my mind, i'd be begging them not to say anything, because i did not want to hope, i could not bear to hope. i literally had a mind battle each time, i did not want to hope because i had failed so many times before and tried till i was weary.

God graced me and gave me the faith and the courage i needed. Today i receive and take advantage of the favour He graced me with (because He doesn't take back His gifts) to take all that He has for me and my family and for everyone else that has need, in Jesus name, Amen!

I am a supernatural being and i reign and rule with Christ Jesus. God is sovereign and He can make me what he wants me to be with/without the help of man.

On point
This is my prayer


This is my heart this season: Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord!


Thank you Father!

A new day...

It takes me a while for words to sink in
I am strange like that

It takes a while for insults self to sink in
Or warnings
Or instructions

But when they do sink in
I never forget
It sinks in


I am sold out to Jesus
Not partially
totally
Not something i do on/off
convenient or for gain

This is me 
Not changing for anyone

This is my call

To stand up and be counted
to be the light in my environment...

Peace!

By the way, i just logged on to say i am so calm
i amaze mysel
Tis not natural
This can only be God.

Hi folks, feels like the old tisha, almost!

K

I knew i was going to post something sooner

How are you all doing?

Miss my blogfam

been pondering some stuff

wondering about my dreams

wondering if i have not been thinking too small

compared to the plans God had in store for me

Gisting with my sis this morning 

and she told me about this woman 

who was raped and killed by her driver and her cook

and called herself a Christian

I was slipping off into my nonchalant mood

when i suddenly got mad

Two folks planned such rubbish about you

and you are in the dark about it and you call yourself 

a CHRISTIAN

It annoyed me plenty, why don't you just tag 

yourself a bench warmer

Then i recalled what it meant to be Christian

It means to be conscious of the spiritual more than the physical

It means to dominate your environment so much

you can decide what happens on it and what doesn't

I know many folks won't understand this

But Kathryn Kulman in the 1940's used to dominate territories

She used to decide that such and such, stealing, anger, fear and sickness

could not operate around her in a 10 ft radius, two blocks, ten blocks and

then a 5o mile radius, that is what it means to take charge.

How can people with such criminal minds be planning such against you and

you don't know?

Don't tell me you are not a witch or a mind reader

That is why he gives visions, word of knowledge, wisdom, discernment of spirits etc

It is so you can dominate your world and operate as more than a man
How can this woman possibly say she did not sense anything
and then say she has an intimate relationship with the Most high
That he calls her by name, that she is submitted and obedient to His will,
God never leaves His children bereft, he is always speaking.
he has spoken to me so many times concerning members of my family, i am
glad i don't play church, that i am not the senior partner in our relationship
But that He is. Glad His plans are always good, i don't know what i would do
without Him, He just works perfectly, i love the way He loves me (selfish as that sounds)
God's love is unending, i won't stop dreaming!
I am under His divine influence daily because i am born of God
and His divine protection/hedge is roundabout my loved ones daily in their offices, businesses
homes, anywhere they go, God is caring for them. He is my stand-by

If some idiot curses you and you are cursing them back, you are not prepared

to walk in the kingdom

After seeing it, you must walk in it by obeying God's word

LOVE is key, but love is not stupidity; neither is it humiliation.

That woman just pissed me off because her lack of operating spiritual gifts

cost her her life, she did not need to go to heaven early.

JUST WONDERING

God and I are not are close as we used to be, the intimacy level is not as good as it used to be. I feel like He's there for me but i am living life not exactly on his plane.

So i decided to start a journal between God and me, where i would just write to Him about my day and my Christian growth and my life and just to know His mind for me. 

My pastor used to give this scripture a lord "Draw near to me and i will draw near to you". I think i even heard it a couple of times before i got saved.

Tip for the day: If you are reading scripture you want to drive into your spirit, speak in tongues while reading it, peace!

Feels like old times, my writing doesn't have to make sense and be all so proper all the time.

Words freak!

It's not surprising, i was reading my readers in one day by the age of 6 so my love for words is not new. I love poems and I am stealing (lol) this from a s/he called Lee La Poeta I saw it on Facebook and it spiked up my imagination.

I do not know how I stumbled upon it

I am yet to discover what it was

Was it those eyes?

intriguing darks swimming in ocean whites?

or was it the goofy lopsided smile,

revealing perfectly shaped whites?

Perhaps it was the way those neat khaki pants,

Groped and majestically carved your rear

And made me look away in fear of evil thoughts

Could it be the way you made black look so sleek?

Or was it your laughter, short and precise?

No. maybe it was your voice, almost flawless, melodious.

Surely it must have been your skin,

Smooth, even, chocolate,

Neither light nor dark

Or maybe it was your aura, sweet, perceptive, open.

Could be your sense of humor!

the way you weaved your stories.

What was it now? 

It could not have been your annoying questions,

Do you have this or that? Can you drive?

Why is your bra this color? Do you drink?

I think it was your hands, soft, gentle in a weird way.

It was the way you could be cocky and still unsure.

It was how you knew almost everything about everything

It was how hard you worked and how lazy you are

It was how you combined aloofness with friendship

It was gullibility and intelligence mixed

It was youth and maturity

It was how you are unafraid of yourself,

That scared me.

It is definitely your scent, exotic and rare.

And your stare,

That sketched, even etched you right there.

(Lol, I liked it and I thought I’d share) 

Today (on that day) I miss my friends, not that I would have the time to spend with them even if they were here (one of the disadvantages of being grown up). What I miss is the times we had together just hanging out, I cherish those times. I miss those times!

This poem describes almost every friend I have had from kindergarten till now, it even describes me too. I have been blessed with great people as friends and I love and appreciate them and I thank God for putting them in my life. Today I appreciate two of my friends who are having their birthday today, happy birthday babes, I love you too much!

Simple

I liked it and so I stole the idea from 'Beautiful'

1. Do you have any pets?
    NO! I love puppies though!

2. Name 3 things that are physically close to you.
    Phone, Journal, Bible


3. What's the weather like right now?
    Hot and sticky...mschew!


4. Do you drive? If so have you crashed?
    I know how, I have never crashed.


5. What time did you wake up this morning?
    4.00 am, I am an early riser


6. When was the last time you showered?
    I live in this stupid village/town (only in their minds) and I fetch water in a bucket to take my bath and so i don't shower.

7. What was the last movie you saw?
  Uhmm, nothing really noteworthy

8. What does your last text message say?
    Fun chat Loyalty Reward! Be the top chatter o today and get N750 airtime. To ind people around your area text...
Like i would i don't believe in gambling and I won't be giving MTN any free money, they should work for it.

9. What's your ringtone?
   Don Moen's song

10. Have you ever been to a different country?
As an adult, Ghana

11. Do you like sushi?
     Nope, I hate raw fish...duh!

12. Where do you buy your groceries?
     A mall in my area

13. Have you ever taken medication to help you fall asleep faster?
     Never, I watch TV when i am awake at midnight and sleep by 3am

14. How many siblings do you have?
    6, I won't be more specific, if you read my posts, you will find out anyways

15. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop?
     None of the above

16. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
  Mind your business blogam, you can guess if you are too curious!

17. Do you wear contacts or glasses?
    None of the above

18. Do you color your hair?
    Nope, my hair is fragile so i use colored extensions

19. Tell me something you are planning to do today.
      Planning to do my J.O.B as a publicist

20. When was the last time you cried?
   It has been a while!

21. What is your perfect pizza topping?
 Whatever tastes nice and sweet!

22. Which do you prefer-hamburgers or cheeseburgers?
    Pizza but i can manage ham burgers

23. Have you ever had an all-nighter?
  I have

24. What is your eye color?
     Brown

25. Can you taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke?
Like Day is not Night and like Light is not Darkness!


I think I enjoyed this...
Do it if you want!

me...according to my words...

Back so soon…

Like one who loves to hear the sound of their voice so they keep speaking, I like to see the words I write and read them over and over again. But since I don’t seem sincere on computer any longer, I write from my pillow with a pen and paper and transfer to the computer later…

Today I will be writing on 7 quirky things about me, I wish I could summarize but you would not get the picture and so I write.

1.      I did not get saved like the regular folks, it was different and I actually had to trust Jesus with my life. I have had this habit from when I was a kid. If you don’t look in my eyes, I literally cannot speak to you. I do it with everyone but most especially the people I let close to me; my siblings used to ‘tire’ of it all the time but they understand me. Why you may ask?

2.      I have this instinct, when I am talking with you and looking in your eyes, I can see espionage, honesty, disloyalty, loyalty, honor, cut-throatiness (rat race), love, unsure attitude, openness, insecurity, hatred, anger, admiration, malice, beef, kindness, jealousy, truth, lies, dishonor, whatever your emotions at any particular time, I can see in your eyes even if your face betrays no emotion, the eyes never lie, not to me.

3.      Its crazy abi, so long as you made eye contact with me, I would continually be speaking with you but if you could not make eye contact I would discontinue my friendship/closeness with you and move you to the level of acquaintances. I’d withdraw emotionally but remain professional and relate on an intellectual level. This amazes the ones closest to me, that I could remain polite no matter who you were or what you did but not pretend to have close relations with you. 

4.      I refuse to pretend at any level. I am a terrible pretender. I give honor to whom honor is due but I take no bulls**t from anyone. If you were sincere with me and suddenly started bulls**ting me, I would turn too but still maintain a courteous mien. My mom always used to say ‘There is a reason why human beings are not animals’. It is wrong to be practicing jungle strategies and still maintaining a semblance of humanity. We must distinguish ourselves by who we are!

5.      I love the simple life. Becoming a Christ follower, I came to understand that I must own the full personality & be committed to growing everyday and bearing fruit, not necessarily souls but love, kindness, joy, peace, gentleness (I know how much I confessed that scripture in Philippians ‘Let your gentleness be known to all men’ NIV), longsuffering, goodness, faithfulness, self control, meekness, temperance. (Gal 5:22). As you cultivate these gifts, they draw men to Christ. POWER has a place but the power of God is enhanced as you manifest the fruit of the spirit in your daily walk.

6.      I am no faker. Everyone says actions speak louder than words. I have never been a talker (If you are my friend you will probably laugh in derision). Truth is ‘I can be mute’ if I don’t trust you but if I even trust you a little, I start talking non stop about anything and everything and most likely out of the blue.

7.      I talked about my instinct se. I am stronger in observation techniques, lol. When I am not talking, I am looking or hearing. I look a lot and I can tell who people are through their eyes; I can tell if they are joyful or in pain, excited or confused but more than that, I can tell If they are AFRAID.

Fear repels me. If I talk to you and I sense fear, if I can talk with you, I would but if I can’t, I would avoid you.

Fear causes the word of God to lose its impact to your spirit. If you speak the word of God without conviction, fear is the culprit. If you speak the word of God and it does not stir hope and bring peace to its hearers, it is because you don’t quite believe what you are saying.

Fear is an alien to the believer in the resurrected Christ, it is a gift from the enemy and has no place in you, it should not find a home in your heart, refuse to accommodate it.

2 Tim 1:7 God has not given me a spirit of fear but of LOVE, POWER and a sound mind.

When I speak God’s word to myself, it does something on my inside that I can’t explain or understand, it is like spiritual power is pumping into my spirit.

Finally, I see fear or courage in the eyes or in the inflection of your voice. There is nothing like the word of God spoken with confidence and trust. Over the years, I have come to understand that I can trust what God says, he is more real than a human being sitting next to me.

This is why I pray, talk, sing, laugh and play with confidence. I am conscious of the loving God living in me and directing my path. This is why I impart those around me with what I believe. I ask myself this question all the time, it helps me know me. What do you believe?