Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Love is a beautiful thing a crazy thing...

Perfect loves does not leave any room for fear. 

"Perfect love casts out all fear..."

When i was first attacked, i was afraid to go out for months even for weeks, i had to travel to Delsu to go meet my sis and see if she could make things better. Imagine a good girl suddenly turned bad! 
i could not cope with school and i was glad when we had a strike that kept us home for quite a while. After the long months, we eventually had to resume school. Home was like hell fire so even though i could not feel safe in school, it was a welcome relief from always having to stay behind closed doors. 

I have always thought in my heart that when i went to heaven, i would ask why i was given a heartless dad and mom but what can i say? i guess God has his reasons. 
some days i hurt, 
some days i am perfectly peaceful. sometimes, 
i look in the mirror and i wonder what people see when they look into my eyes. 

Life is unfair but in all the unfairness of life, i believe God is good! 

My greatest prayer is to meet someone who can give me a duplex so i and my bro. and sis can move out of my parents house and go live on our own, i also sometimes wonder how hopeless my life would be without God. 

 My diary, the only place where i can be totally truthful and not feel the need to defend myself against this big bad world. i wonder if i will ever find love and if it exists outside of God at all...