H e hates my guts...

He (i had no romantic entanglements with him whatsoever, he's really older than me) resents me but will never admit it. he feels like i don't deserve God's goodness. all this just helps me appreciate what God did when he sent Christ.

Can you remember a time when you did not ask for goodies and your mom/dad bought them, that feels like undeserved love se. well that's how salvation feels, you know what God's love takes so much better.
so no matter how many judges, scoffers and mockers mask themselves as believers (what exactly do they believe?) and mask their true feelings, i will wear my righteousness with pride and stand up to be counted as a light in Zion.

When i focus on them and their crazy notions and hypocritical judgmental attitude, i just want to give in and throw in the towel and run away but when have i ever taken the easy way out?

I am turning around and fighting them back (i am tired of being bullied) not the way they are used to fighting; by ganging up and creating division, pretending kindness and praying evil in the same breathe. acting nice and the next moment sending nasty comments, gossiping endlessly and preaching about how only you will... forget about it!

i on the other hand choose to do the word and trust my instincts (the holy ghost's voice for believers) that everything he says is true, i am going to feed them patience, kindness and understanding as much as it hurts.
(It feels like the first time i will be living by faith; the 5 months without opposition made me soft; i let down my guard and now everyone is holding bazookas and waiting, no praying for me to fail cos more is at stake).

since he is doing all the stuffs intentionally, this is my solution: no one can successfully put me down or tear me down because i know who i am and the greater One lives in me; the Holy ghost, he is my counselor, standby, and teacher so i am surrounded with favor and therefore i can't go wrong!

Peace.

more plots and more hatched plans

now its mocking
my pal in the office is gone
i have a safe haven though

doing much for the gospel
this is all that makes me pleased

more drama in the office
always trying to make me see

what exactly i don't know
i don't do revenge
so i am in the dark

asking for grace to get through this time
till God tells me what i want to hear

still doing his will
learning to be dead to anything
that does not matter

what really matters in the light of eternity
many things fall out

faith, hope and charity stand out
thinking understanding and speaking the word stand out

if only i would preach the word like i should
lord give me courage to speak...

a beautiful day...

I am supposed to be joyful continuous and i just don't feel it, sometimes i just want to put my pillow over my head and go for a long break but that not me, that's the turtle who always runs away from stuff speaking.

THis year, i am courageous and i feel unspeakable joy, its not natural; its something inside that knows that Christ did not die on the cross for nothing.

Neefemi made my day, she said this:

"Tisha – somebody else I also love – down to earth, loves God & takes no nonsense – I reckon you want her by your side in a battle".

I was touched and i felt like i was making a significant difference in a life, not the kind you look down your nose at and calculate on a richter scale but the one that God looks upon and smiles on from heaven.

i made a comment on fabulola's blog and even if its not that dramatic, i guess i am being honest, i think.

NO matter how today looks, i know i will need sunglases for all the light that will be shining out of me and my fam in 2010.