Thursday, July 29, 2010

...99, thank God tis the last one before my birthday on Blogger

I enjoyed writing this post. The spineless brother came out and told my BFF that she was reading something into nothing that he did not like her. I was pissed, he did not even have the guts to stick his neck out and he topped it up by lying, what if she had to depend on him for something more than that. He is just unreliable. tell me Abraham would lie and Saul and David. Geez, what is my business with them all, i am not a follower of Abraham, I am a follower of Jesus and Jesus would not lie, O where are the men of Integrity.
Then when i respect Denzel Washington, they go screaming that i should have Christian role models, many Christian men are liars, how do i respect them? My dad has better values than some Christian men, how do they want to preach to Him, they better be depending on the anointing of God's spirit and not on their morals.

1.Is the Bible 100% God's word? Is Jesus God in flesh? Did He die for the world's sins and rise on the third day? Is salvation only by grace through faith and not of any human work?

Yes the bible is 100% true and i believe all of it.

four questions missing and i don't have the time to go look for them but breaking news, my next post is my hundredth post and i am still thinking....

5.Would the last guy you were in a relationship with recommend that other men who need direction, leadership and spiritual strengthening, companionship and vision get in touch with you? Why or why not, and could I have someone call her to verify her answer?

A: He probably would but since i have a type I personality i tend to think i am not good enough when i am measuring myself with the impossible standards i set sometimes. I am actually very disciplined and i try to be sensitive enough to the Holy Ghost to obey His instructions knowing they are for my own good. These days, however much i try to tell Him not to trust me with stuff about people, he just won't listen so i guess He trusts. Now when i don't know what to do, i just pray, i guess all those all-nights in my college fellowship were training me to be an intercessor for the body. I hate responsibility but usually do well when i am handed responsibility but please don't praise me cos if you do, i will consider it my duty to disappoint you, i don't want to be perfect, its a character flaw. I on the other hand would recommend him, he is very sweet but tough too. He is a hard working young man with huge visions. He adds value but a little too controlling for my liking tis' why we split up. He told me he would change but i was so happy at the breathing space i ran.

6.If we were in a relationship, how would you be able to tell if I was idolizing the relationship over God, and what would you do to help me be able to get back on track? - 

A: I tend to put people on a pedestal so this is what i do, i praise and worship a lot and then ask God to please work on me and prune whatever needs to be cut out so that i can grow and reach the point where he is taking me to. I usually start having a lot of confrontation and conflict that develops me and i know to act right or pray to act right or say what should i have done? When it comes to idolizing a person, i write a poem or a love letter to God or affirm to myself how important God is to me or have a talk with the said person that there is a place in my life no one can take or talk about how important God is to me.

7. If we got together, what would you do to ensure physical purity in our relationship?

A. I would put in place the rules and regulations my P. M told us when he was training us on 'sexual purity', He said to keep the boundary lines clear, to speak up front about what would be acceptable and what would be unacceptable. To have clear rules written out of what was allowed and what wasn't allowed. To have public dates and to have one person the both of you went to each and another person you both went to together who would be your bank account. To keep you both out of 'monkey business'. If you really like this person, you were to make sure you both were never alone for both your sakes, you are very human, don't think you can resist anything? I listened with my ears wide open.

8.If I wanted to pursue a 100% hands-off relationship that includes no kissing, no hugging, no holding hands, no massages, to ensure purity and focus, how would you feel about that? 

A. I think the best answer is don't do nothing but most people like to kiss, hug and cuddle and that sort of thing but i still think the best answer is don't do nothing.

9. Can you guarantee that I'll be spiritually mature and grow because I entered into a relationship with you? If yes, how do you know? If no, then why should I be in a relationship with you?

A.  I will grow definitely. I know my ex was the better for it spiritually because we dated, what i know is that i was not the better for it spiritually. Yes i was closer to God but i had no time to even focus on God again, he took up all my spare time, i barely even saw members of my family and my friends were neglected. Sometimes i felt like i was in a prison, i could feel claustrophobic and all he wanted to do was get me a bottle of water to make me feel comfortable so i guess he did not understand me totally.

10. If one morning I woke up and was no longer cute, had a 100% flat chest, no hips, no butt, no curves, my hair fell out and my teeth weren't straight, would this be a challenge for you? How would you deal with it and would you still be interested in me?

A. Even though i like to see a cute guy, you know he's easy on the eyes, i am one of those gals that can do unconditional when i get to know you so much i don't see your face any longer. 
Hold on though, i don't have any ugly friends so do you really believe that i can do unconditional. From time to time, i see the shallow me and she makes me laugh, i don't want to be perfect so no, she's going nowhere , i think she's a lot of fun.

11. What areas in my life do you think I need to grow and mature in and how could you build me up in those areas?

A. I believe iron sharpens iron. and i look forward to growing stronger as a team. I am crazy about the Holy Ghost and i believe that any one who teams up with the Holy Ghost becomes unstoppable but you need to submit and yield and let go. If you have been practicing submission with your pastor, then it would not hurt so much when he tells you to do something and you agree because you know that as much as it does not seem right this moment, he says it for your own good and you will fall into purpose eventually. I believe if you yield to the  Holy Ghost all the time giving up your own agenda for His, you will just keep growing. Meanwhile humanly or naturally speaking, it is not easy o!

12. What would be the spiritual goal of our relationship? How do you know you will fulfill that goal with me if we got together?

My P. M told me this first (O i so hated all those marriage talks and prayers but he just went on meen, it wasn't easy sitting through what you had made up your mind that you wouldn't need, lol) a 3-fold cord is not easily broken. I started the race in faith, i can only finish in faith. (a three-fold cord means Him, Her and God, How strong is your own cord or is there even any at all or your marriage is a locomotive, i would hate to become a robot, i wanna live life to the fullest). To know the Holy Ghost more and to grow. (A close friend of mine recently broke up with her fiance and it hurts so much because she was the one who broke it up, i wanted to yell at her that how could she let it get this far without getting clearance from God or He was speaking and she just forged ahead but all i told her was that i was all ears if she needed to talk; just to let you know that many other people believe in getting clearance from God, this is how i was raised and He's never failed me before so i kinda identify with this guy who i got this from).

13.Would you be willing to have an open relationship where we sit down with ministers from my church every month and give an account of how our relationship is going, along with answering any personal and spiritual questions they have for us? 

A. I do have a problem with trusting people, especially ministers. that said, if i have faith in a minister, am willing to open up. still, i have learnt to live my life on the Holy spirit's instruction and not others experience. Anything that is not in the word of God, don't accept! totally agree with this dude, by the way what is a spiritual question and what is not a spiritual question. If you are a spirit that has a soul and lives in a body does it not follow that everything that you do is spiritual including talking emm that is except you live segmented lives, sometimes physical and sometimes spiritual.

14. What is God's purpose in dating and marriage? Please support your answer with the Bible.

Hmm, thats tricky...companionship, relationship, fellowship, and God said, it is not good for man to be alone.

For me, i think fellowship, companionship, relationship and friendship and love (love is first for me, i was being religious listing the necessities first). Read Hosea and Gomer, Esther and King Xerxes, Salmon and Rahab, Zechariah and Elizabeth, Abraham and Sarah, Mary and Joseph. Now if only i can think of an example in the New Testament other than Annanias and Sapphira (Lesson: Don't help your husband cheat God and if you have made a vow keep it, if not don't make it) I am not defining anything and i am not taking any explanation that sounds like a way out and not an out and out given by God.

15. Do you have a history of getting with guys because you get lonely, the guys are handsome or other reasons that are ungodly. Can you please give me three people I can call to verify your answers?

First off, i don't believe being lonely or handsome are ungodly. I would never get with someone because i was lonely because believe it or not i would still be lonely in a relationship. I learnt that you can be alone and not lonely if you were connected with the spirit of God. I learnt to know what i wanted and block off anyone i did not want.
There is nothing wrong with getting with someone because they are lonely or pretty but that can't be the whole package, there must be some depth and character and purpose behind all of that or it would be pretty common. I mean there must be about 4 billion lonely and pretty people (Male/female, just for the record i am straight; more so because i have a God-commitment) in the whole world, i don't want to be with all of them so the reasons must be special. I mean enough to be forever. When it comes to forever, tell me i am a dreamer and i will even add that i am old fashioned, there must be love too. My pastor said, "Don't marry someone who likes you but to marry someone who loves you". He also said, 'don't date someone you can't marry or someone you don't respect'. What can i say, those things stuck and i can't change my mind easily and i am willing to wait for true love, if i wanted to settle, i would have settled in 2006.

This is just the first step and does not guarantee you've met "the" man nor does it excuse you from praying and seeking God's will about a man and hearing from the Holy Ghost as much as people think this is freaky.*

See how difficult this thing is, if i did not have God, i would be making up my mind and changing it every minute.

You can still send questions. Send questions though only if you love me, are fond of me or love/like my blog. If you are biffing me don't bother. If you are hating on me (My BFF says i should make up my mind to handle biffers that every great man/woman has some) please pass...

Mission for the month
Giving my word and keeping it, i seem to be slacking and if i am slacking then i am losing my training, if i am losing my training, how am i sure i am going somewhere to God's somewhere to be precise.

Purple  - Thoughts before writing
Green    - Me
Red       - Friend
Yellow   - Thoughts of me!
Black     - His questions

Thursday, July 22, 2010

O to know you more...

I am full of joy yes, turmoil on the outside but peace on the inside yet many things are running through my mind. I learnt a lot about holiness. Holiness was defined as walking like God, acting like God, talking like God, it is dying to sin and to the law. It is taking a while for it all to sink in, but still listening...

Announcement: This is a random post because i am not writing about anything in particular. 
My blog will be a hundred post in the next two post and i have already started working on the four questions i have received. Blogfam, you just don't want to give me the questions i want so four questions it is, if you like don't send me questions if you like do 'wink'.

So i am good as good as can be, had some drama two weeks ago, did fine in handling it. Family is moving forward and work is moving forward, my spiritual life is moving forward. I am following my goals and i think i need a holiday but i have two weddings to attend out of town, one in August and one in September and then i will be taking 4 days each. So i am saving my time-off to go and have fun with my peeps.

Peace you all and my hundredth post will be having two special surprises, i may be posting pictures so watch out. Wouldn't you like to unveil 'tisha'

Word for me:

John 3: (something. Clue: when Jesus was talking to Nicodemus about the new creation)The wind blows where it wills... expect the unexpected!

Friday, July 16, 2010

I have the desire to write but...

I did anyway because a lot is going on i can't say.

Today i'll be copying b'ratti and still being me.

Goals for the week.
(Thot: I'll keep modifying this, lol, it make the world go around and keeps me happy and in purpose)

1. Appreciate the Holy Ghost
I do and i am less mechanical about things like i could accomplish anything without God lol. I am very aware that i am a frail human on my own.

2. Write; become more professional
The babe is learning. I am fellowshipping with the spirit more and so i am so much more confident, its like you can't spend time with God and come out lesser. It is not a feeling; just an impression on my spirit.

3. Pray out of love and not duty
I am learning to do this more. Do not be a dutiful daughter to God or to your dad. Learn to do things out of love not passive/active manipulation because if you look at it anyhow, manipulation is witchcraft (the first time pastor m said this i laughed out loud)

4. Work: learn to research
I want to learn to work better and be productive and more purposeful but still understanding that God blesses whatever i do but i must needs do something that he may bless it.

5. Laugh 
I need to laugh more. I saw my laughter crooked in my camera phone cos i was thinking of folks that were annoying me but when i had peace, i was totally adorable. (blowing my trumpet se, pastor m says i should never be afraid to blow my trumpet cos there are many who will try to break me down; i should still pursue humility sha)

6. Dance
I used to dance freely in my office during break time, that used to be my recharge time; emotionally that is. I don't know why i don't feel so free to sing at the top of my voice and dance freely anymore, about to start it again.

7.Be thankful, learn patience
Lord i am thankful cos you are faithful. God saved my dad'd life this past monday, i couldn't tell no one because i was not sure if i would be encouraged or discouraged. My dad prayed in the name of Jesus. I was so happy. I feel a nudging to minister Christ to him but something keeps holding me back, i am not sure what to do, i wanted it to be solely Holy Ghost like mine, no one got me saved, i reached a decision myself. Agreeing to receive the Holy Ghost was a bit more difficult; the giving in part. The words were easy, i just refused to believe in my heart until...
I am thankful sha! Most everything i prayed for has been answered.

8. Do something different don't think the same way
Work different every day. Make sure the word of God is renewing your mind everyday. Work different, take different, act different, think different,

9. Take your self out 
Pastor M told me to do this. It is not by force to date if you are not ready or you don't have what you want. 'Take yourself out'. I told all my friends till they started doing it. my elder sis told me not to worship pastor m. I don't, i just love him a lot because he taught me how to walk in the kingdom and that is something special.

10. Hang out with your gals.
I did. My BFF and and i hung out with some other gals. I don't know how to encourage her but i just know that everyday i talk with her Zoe is rubbing off on her from me somehow because i know the life of God is bubbling inside me and guess what, she has word of knowledge too. I was so happy for her when she told me, its just snippets, she can develop it. Problem is i don't know how it works. I know that if i speak in tongues and put no pressure on me the connection btw God and i is so much clearer. Whatever, i am going to keep speaking in tongues. Thank you God for sending me a friend. (My bro' told me not to expect her to be perfect; i don't i just love her the way she is o)

I had a dream and the only way i can interpret is that God is saying 'Wait again' and i got a confirmation from my cousin. She just sent me an offline that God's ministers are never in a hurry so i shouldn't be in a hurry, i was tempted to yell 'yeah right' but my cousin has the patience of a saint.

Anyhow i am way off perfect, i am saved by grace. And i am glad about it o! I lied and the only reason i was bothered was because my p saw it and i was like this is crazy, you are becoming like the world. You are supposed to be bothered because of God and not your p. So i corrected myself. 

I just asked 'what matters more?' Who would you like to please?

My meditation today is that God is not intimidated by anything and He is on your side and not against you not because of you but because of Christ and He loves you because of who He is. Selah

Some idiot, a colleague is pissed at me (don't knw why, don't care). I made a passing comment and said you know how children are and he said 'I do but do you?' in this sarcastic voice like he had concluded on me. I just replied with all confidence in a calm voice 'I will'. Lol

That same stupid idiot i talked about above told me i was gay oha' because she and i are close. I told him point blank that i am straight, the idiot never edifies me. I don't know why he won't stay away from me, he's always pretending, i just know God has given his wifey grace to handle his irresponsibility. I want a man of His word sha, was talking with my sisters today and i said, 'If Jesus is not Lord over a man's life' i am not sure i can be with him, he seems impossible to find abi, God makes impossible things possible.
Okay i know why he is mad but i don't carel, God is in control and not intimidated, even i don't know what will happen but now i am looking at it under a microscope, the movie is interesting to watch! lol

Something is in the works, it works for my good sha!

Okay NOW i am begging, I know i have said a lot and there is practically no secret so please please, pretty please, ask me some questions, i have only two posts to go before i do my special for my hundredth post, it is going to be like awards. It will be a blessing and fun so please ask away...