Tuesday, October 15, 2013

I am not surprised at all...

"If we win, we praise Him if we lose, we praise Him"

Line from facing the giants. 
Awesome, awesome movie, by the grace of God I will defeat every giant in my way in Jesus name, amen.
By the faith of Jesus, I can have anything I pray for; I thank you Lord Jesus for restoration in every area of my life and family in Jesus name, amen.

What I used previously was too depressing but I said, I won't let you win. I am perpetually full of the joy of the Holy Ghost.

I have two siblings who have a mental challenge. I am born again, spirit filled and I love the Lord but he loves me more. He has shone up too much, the favor of God upon my life has destroyed giants that man could not in me and in my family. It has also attracted much persecution and hatred but I am cool with it. The God who gave me the miracle is big enough to handle my opposition. He is able to put the right words in my mouth and conquer the enemies that surround me. He is able to restore what the worm, canker worm and any other kind of worm has eaten, he can restore it to me a 1000-fold. 

I was hurt when he recited a story about a mad man, the guy is mentally challenged and was engaged to a girl in my church. They succeeded in destroying the relationship over what they believe God's hands is not big enough to do. I am so sorry, I am one of those people that can stand out against 2000 people and believe God. God can do anything! My friend who was mentally challenged is married with a  daughter now. By the way he is born again, I used to invite him to my church, but he must have known something I didn't. Thank God for his supportive family and church and friends. Sometimes people that the church calls unbelievers actually believe God more than the church. The church believes doctrine but they don't believe God. Doctrines create religion but it does not create people who utilize the faith God has given them. I wonder how many faithless churches stopped him from getting married. Imagine comparing the kinds of madness like they are doctors, they say that the kind of madness is not the one you get from reading too much, should there be a difference in any kind of madness, is God not able?

If their God is not able; my own God is able!

I feel really sad because no one knows the truth. He played the shame factor because I know some people who have mental challenged siblings who didn't speak up; they were laughing, after they will go home and be crying in bed at night then come to church and be pretending laugh because there is no true vulnerability except they want to cut you or hurt you or do you damage or try to be better than you, it is a terrible culture. 

Jesus had the loyalty of people because he cared about them, Jesus has my loyalty because he showed me that he cares about me. I love the Lord because He cares about me. He loves me pieces. I know!
I also know that faith doesn't just fall on your lap, you have to use your measure of faith till it grows, if you never use it, it won't grow and you will be a babe forever.
You also can't use your faith to get land but you won't use it for a mentally challenged man, that is covetousness. I look at them and I laugh. I pray for them in the moments when I am talking with God and the Holy Spirit says, "Pray for your enemies, love them..."

The Spirit of God told me to stop trying to protect myself from getting up but to live my life that 'lo he is with me" lol!. 

If they ever have a challenge, that would be the first time they are actually using their faith, they would be played by the devil not because he is too strong but because they are too strategic almost like the people in the world; nothing differentiates them from the world people.  Love must motivate your prayer. That is something I know. 

I know that you can't give what you don't have. But if you have Jesus, you should have compassion. I am glad to inform him that his people will be just like him lacking compassion and that if they don't love Jesus, then they can't really love him, they only love the fact that he is meeting their needs. 

1 Corinthians 3:21-23

21So then let no one boast in men. For all things belong to you, 22whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or things present or things to come; all things belong to you, 23and you belong to Christ; and Christ belongs to God.

Lord, help your daughter so that she doesn't contact their faithlessness. If you believe, you will pray, if you don't believe you will make excuses. Guess what, the devil has you in his pocket already. You don't walk by faith, there is no need for him to persecute you, you are living in his camp. 

Meanwhile I am thanking God for restoration in a certain area I saw on Sunday, I serve a faithful God.

The Holy Spirit asked me not to respond to him, that I should leave him to Him and I decided that God is too good to me, I leave him to the Lord. 

I am flying on the wings of the spirit, soaring and making progress. 

He is my blessing, every time he has provoked me to try and get me into unbelief, my faith in God has risen that more so I thank you for all that you have done unknowing; the heart of the king is in God's hands afterall. 

Monday, October 14, 2013

Do I care any more?

Do I care anymore?
Yes I do, it hurts
No it doesn't.
They can't hurt me anymore
I don't know why Jesus chose
this road
But he understands best

Today I understood
"Perfect love casts out all fear"
I do understand God's perfect love for me
But when it comes to relationships
I am afraid to get hurt


Of course I got raped
That is so far into the past
Almost 15 years
Honestly I probably am using it as an excuse
to not get involved with someone
I must open up to
I don't want fake relationship
Where my boyf accepts me or what he can get of me
Which is not all of me
If I get my way
But I don't want to get my way
I can't believe I just said that
Because without the Holy Ghost
I am just plain selfish
Brene said, some people withhold love
Immediately she said that,
It clang in my ears
"I withhold love..."

I know I do
How do I come out of that place?
He tried so much
Now he's making me suffer
Makes me want to open up to him
and then close up too and make him suffer
problem with having someone as smart as you
He understands you just fine
and so the games don't work

Maybe I should do what my cousin did
Date 6 guys in succession
and then pick one
No emotions involved
I just know, come December
I would finally be able to date
and stop the rigmarole

This year, God impressed on my heart not to date
and as soon as he said it
possibilities kept coming to break what he said
and stubborn me, I was happy to go along for the ride

God you are patient with me

Action plan: I will definitely do something, they will be so many, it will be so confusing
My FBI agents won't be able to keep track
I will have fun too!

I still believe God.
I believe in Jesus and in the Holy Ghost.

"I and mine, we are a confirmation of God's covenant"

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Christ in ME...

I didn't get changed at an camp
I got changed in college, the most unlikely place
Except the fact that a bunch of cool kids decided to commit to Jesus
Their impact set me up for the kind of believer I became
I have been hiding:

One of the pastors said one day that:
"When Jesus becomes your LORD, you lose your reputation;
you can't be guarding your reputation, Jesus can ask you to do anything"

Holy Spirit, I am going to do my best to put myself out there for you
I carry the Holy Spirit inside of me, I am going to have faith everyday
Cynicism will not destroy me, fear, anger, unbelief all of the fleshy things cannot have me

I am led by the Spirit of God, there's no any other way for me.

I will talk about Jesus more and reach out to the people around me more
and pray about the people that hurt me to God
Carrying offenses just helps you waste time nursing the wrong things
God has put birthing power in me, it is for dreams and not for grievances

Father thank you for resurrection power, I choose to trust you
Spirit of God, help me depend on you more than I depend on me
Help me scrap depending on me cos what can I do without you?

Help me put myself out there and trust You to use it for your glory
If I get happy, you get the glory
If I get hurt, you get the glory

Help me pray to you when I am hurt and not waste time in anger
Be my best friend again O Lord, I miss having you as a best friend
And life is too difficult without You
I am tired of playing big girl, I do need you so much

Thank You for peace and Joy
Your peace never left me so I knew that everything was going to be fine
Do help me put my faith to work more often inspite of what I see outside me

I live above the forces of darkness
I live above the principles of this life

Holy Spirit, forgive me for forgetting you are my partner and thanks for reminding me