Tuesday, May 25, 2010

In deep thots...

I was thinking thinking and thinking and so i went to my very first pastors page on facebook to look at how he thinks and where he receives inspiration and maybe i didn't quite find what i was looking for but i found these three questions and i tried to answer them as best i could...

3 Questions:

1.Who am I?

I am 'tisha', i am a new creation in Christ Jesus, everyday i walk with the Holy Ghost a little closer, i am committed to the ministry of reconciliation (letting people know about the good news that Christ has paid for sin and its consequences and a free gift is available). The platform i use to spread the gospel is where i work, the people i come across and impact a little more everyday for Jesus. Every other thing is just a part of this major thing, if i do this, then i am alright with Jesus.


2.Where am I? 

Right now, i am on my way to destiny by the things that i do everyday, it may not look like much and of course i am not satisfied with it (if you knew me, you would know why) but i am confident that even though it looks like i am charting my course, i know that he leads me everyday. How do i know that? Because every morning when i wake up, i can see the sun rise and i know that is a sign of his covenant, and on my way home after work, i can see the sun setting and i know only Him can make the sun rise and set...
God is faithful and the spiritual is so much more real than this physical.

3.Where am I going?
I can see tomorrow with my eyes of the spirit and i know that it is beautiful and full of promise and prosperity and joy and peace and love and success and everything divine. I see growth in all areas, i see favor and compassion, i see me becoming a better person and adding value as usual. I see a life lived in purpose to please God but nothing boring, i see a fun life, adventurous and full of everything God considers good, this is my life for he perfects all that concerns and at the scent of water cause everything that concerns me to bud and be full of life, He takes care of everything i put in His hands. 


My scripture for the week:
"But to attain these gifts, you need more than faith, you must also work hard to be good and even that is not enough. For you must learn to know God better and discover what he wants you to do. Next learn to put aside your own desires so that you will become patient and godly, gladly letting God have his way with you. This will make it possible for the next step which is for you to enjoy other people and to like them, and finally you will grow to love them deeply. The more you go on this way, the more you will grow strong spiritually and become useful to our Lord Jesus Christ"

The above scripture i blogged with in Dec 2008 and it was a catalyst for a great many good things in my life. Growing up i used to have headaches if i cried, have heart burn if i had a shouting match or my chest would contract if i held anger inside. so i grew up not fighting much, as i have grown older in my Christian faith, i have come to understand that retaining negative emotions stagnates your growth and the Holy Ghost will speak but you won't hear so i am sharing this with you in the hope that the word of God changes you the way it has changed me.

PS By the way i am right now undergoing 'change' again, i think i am getting used to it.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

What love means to me...

Office Politics: No not Myne Whitman, reality, lol

I (Tisha) came to the office today and saw my shallow colleagues, glimpsed their insecurities fear and laughed inside at their silly attempts at manipulation. I am glad I see them from the mountain-top again, I can hear them, I can see them but they can no longer hurt me because I am walking in-love again and I have the help of the Holy Spirit, I am no longer on my own. Being on my own can be so scary sometimes. It’s not that God leaves; it’s that my activities are too important (at least that is what my actions covey) and so I (unintentionally) shut Him out so that when He speaks i can’t hear Him (I am not even aware that he is speaking sometimes).

I watched this beautiful movie I watched as a teenager “A walk to remember” and it impacted me again and again the way it did the first time I watched it, and the second and the third and the fourth time…lol, I have watched it a million times.

Below are the stuff it inspired me to write (You thought I was going to tell you the movie, too easy, you have to go and find it for yourself and watch it, it’s a great movie! Sound Track, Jars of Clay, I dare you to run by Switch Foot and loads of gospel rock groups, you know I like rock now don’t ya?)

This is what I learnt again:

Love is always patient and kind:
In the past year, I have not been as patient and kind as I should have been, somewhere along the line, I forgot that I should be depending on the Holy Ghost because I was feeling too crowded and instead of withdrawing I braved it but I thank God for His mercies, I am back to depending on Him and not on me.

It is never jealous:
I would like to say that I was never jealous but many times I may have displayed the right attitude in public and tried but many times I was out of line with God’s word because I expected, I am not quite sure what…

It is never boastful or conceited:
It is not in my nature to boast but I was proud now and again, I was boastful many times not to glorify God but to put myself in the eye of the public, something I thought I was immune to… I am frail as every other person on the planet when I put off my armor of God, I am going to try to remember that I should be fully kitted at all times.

It is never rude or selfish:
I was selfish many times, sometimes rude because when you can’t see God clearly, every other person is so clear and it’s easy to make mistakes and fall for schemes when your eyes are not fixed on God.

It does not take offence and is not resentful:
I was so offended and resentful I fell ill, I recognized the trend but I could not stop myself. I wonder again how Jesus always knew when a battle wasn’t worth fighting and when to speak and how to always ensure that in his dealings with others he still pleased God. I seriously admire how Jesus outdid the Pharisees and Sadducees each time and Lord I ask for the same wisdom in Jesus name, in fact I thank you for I have it.

Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins:
Sometimes you may not be on the mountain top but you may be high enough to see people’s flaws so clearly and their frailties and their little manipulations. I saw all too clearly and I took pleasure when they did wrong and I was God’s good little girl who always did right perfect in my own eyes (there I became what I hated, a Galatian, I am glad I am back to depending on God’s grace) and you know what he says, if you shed His righteousness and put on yours, how far can you really go?

But delights in the truth:
I delight in the truth of God’s word, my prayer is that I would always live in the light of what God has said and make all my heritage rights my present-hour possession cos He loves me enough to want me to have them.

It is always ready to excuse, to trust and to hope and endure whatever comes:
I don’t even want to talk about being ‘the judge’ cos I am still trying to take off the wig so I can be a new creation again without the weights and the stress of trying to keep up with the works. It’s so difficult cos I want to scream and shout and say this is the way you are, you aren’t perfect, you just see yourself through rose colored glasses and you see others under your huge microscope but gratefully I am not the judge, I am a new creation in Christ Jesus and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Every day that comes I am expecting favor and goodness and mercy and tomorrow is always better than today cos I know that Jesus loves me not for what I will benefit him but for no reason at all. It’s unconditional!

PS I just finished a seminar and i felt like i felt two years ago and only God could have got me thru it, i almost fainted at one point, it was like i had an out of body experience, i could not believe Mr. J would hurt me like that, i sha know i'll thrive and not just survive no matter what i happens, they were so nasty, there is no other word to describe it. 
I just want to say (smile) i am happy i wrote the "i have finally forgiven post on my other blog" (check on the blogs i love...) Holy Ghost is so awesome and i love him so much because at a point i wanted to burst into tears at their meanness but that is who they are and this is who i am and i am strong. I am a strong black woman filled with the Holy Ghost

I fell for someone a while ago and ‘I love him’. My BFF is always saying there is the guy you will fall for that you will never forget. I love him and will always love him no matter what anyone says because in the course of my falling for him, my relationship with God grew stronger; my bond with the Holy Ghost became unbreakable. I love him and I thank him for making me a different person and a better and a stronger person and Christian (even without knowing!), he has changed my life forever and I will never forget him and I thank God and I thank him for being who he is.

I know there are a lot of people friend/foe reading my blog but guess what? I don’t care any longer and I am fed up of accommodating negative emotions so guess what I am going to do every thing in my power to love ‘you’ (the friend and foe and whoever) and I am thankful that the Holy Ghost is helping me again so I say to you “greater is He who lives in me that he who lives in the world”. I spent the better part of three hours reading John the divine 1, 2 and 3 and the major thing he was talking about in all three was loving your brother whom you see since you say you love a God you can’t see and come what may I am going to fulfill this scripture, the love of God has been shed abroad in my heart so I have the capacity to love the unreachable, unlovable and whoever and I believe that love is the greatest force on earth so even as I am loving, I trust the Holy Ghost to be transforming everyone else but most especially me too!
I am tired of being a Galatian and a judge; I just want to be a new creation, free and possessing all of the good stuff that has been prepared for me, tired of living ordinary. I want to live exactly the way God made me, i can be like Jesus because God said, let us make man in our image and likeness so like Jesus I will be day in day out…
Revelation I got this morning:
God saw the earth and it was without form and void and darkness was on the face of the earth, gross darkness not a mild one. God didn’t say “O look, this earth is so dark and shapeless and formless and let me go to my heaven that’s bright like the sun” No, he saw darkness and He said “Light be…”. Isn’t it amazing? Well my decision, I am not like any human on earth or like other people who have travelled the road I have, I am like my father and I say “I am the light of the world”. Why? Cos he said so, I call light out of darkness because I have the creative ability of my father and I am full of the life of God and of the spirit of God.
(Okay I got to stop praying because this is not my prayer blog, this is my personal blog and please don’t forget to vote for me. Tisha, winner of Most Personal Blog Award)
I love you blogfam!
I love this post too, so me…

“…just as you hear the wind but can’t tell where it comes from or where it will go so it is with the spirit” John 3:8
I love you Holy Spirit.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

neefemi said...

It rained again this morning and this time i had the fortune and the favor to not get drenched. Did you all see th collabo i did with myne " click here" I am working on another that has my writers blood pumping in my veins.

i'll start like this:
Neefemi (she's my blog sister and i have claimed her whether she likes it or not; i still love you funkola and twilight)
Neefemi said, i am strong, two posts ago or so in the comments and at first i saw the comment and felt good and proud sef (and that's not a bad thing) then i pondered and pondered and pondered and finally decided that i am not strong.

i am not strong at all
i am so not strong

If i were strong, i would have seen it coming from far
i would have seen it coming and controlled the circumstances of my life then
then again, i think a bit and decide
I am strong
I am strong only in the presence of God
I am strong
He saw me and called me and justified then glorified me
He called me a royal diadem (i did not quite believe it then but now i do)
He called me a planting of the lord (I thought i had to do something before i attained it maybe be a believer for a couple of years before i could claim it but if he said so then it is
an oak of righteousness

yes me
sturdy like the trees in lebanon
(makaraba, eh maraba: tongues) if only you knew how strong the trees of lebanon were.
Isaiah could only think of those trees to describe me
As a babe who believes in Jesus Christ
I don't fall because i am held by God, held by his word
I don't prevail because i am strong or smart
I prevail because i depend on God and his word
God keeps his word
His word is as good as his mind
I can depend on his word
my conclusion
On my own i am not strong
On my own
All of the stuff that i go through would just destroy me
break me, take me out
but i am not on my own

(physically maybe yes!)

But i don't operate in the natural
I refuse to operate in the natural
Everyday as i rise and go about my life's purpose
On this my race, a marathon rather
I perceive angels yes!
I can also perceive the great crowd of witnesses cheering me on
I can see Gideon saying,
"God took a lot to convince me, i asked for sign after 'sign but in the end i trusted him, only him, you can too".

I can see Rahab (my personal fav) saying,
"All i did was hide the spies; it was all i needed to do, it was good enough for him and he knew i trusted Him"

I can see Abraham saying,
"I waited and waited for an Isaac and then he told me to count the stars and as i did, i could see what he saw, i could picture my generations and i even saw you in Christ and you are victorious"

I can see david saying,
"He loved me so much and i became the one called 'A man after God's heart' simply because whatever he said 'i did', i refused to trust in the opinions of men and i always remembered to 'call him'"

I can see Jesus running alongside me even as the others cheer and i realise that we are running together and he laughs uproariously and said, "I said i was with you until the end of time, why would you doubt, i still mean it, let's keep going"

As i pick up pace and run hand in hand with Jesus, i spy John and he screams at me, he bellows really loudly like a son of thunder:
"I was called 'the disciple Jesus loved' because i focused on the divinity of Jesus, on the spirit, never forget, 'the letter kills but the spirit gives life'"

I nod and keep pace with Jesus and then i spy the syrophoenician woman with a pretty young lady at her side and she shouts:
"I was not one of the family of God but as soon as i met Jesus, i knew his mercy could extend to me and so i pressed and he called me the one with 'great faith' and the demons left my daughter and never came back, keep moving and keep trusting"

I smiled and kept running hand in hand with Jesus, as i ran, i saw a very beautiful woman cheering me on:
"I became the one to tell others about Jesus after i met him and he told me about my five ex husbands and my sixth concubine and all i had ever done, the day i met him at the well changed my life forever. guess what? i did not stop there, no matter what you go through or have been through, you can talk about Jesus and the saving power of his gospel because the command 'go' was given to us all"

I blink back tears and keep running and after a while, i see her and i stagger at her beauty. she is breathtaking the kind of woman who will make you look twice. I know immediately who she is, she is the one who has kept me going through all the sweat and stress. She is Mary Magdalene. she is as graceful as she is beautiful. The picture of her, head lifted high (helps me keep my head up when i am persecuted or folks try to talk me down) as she defies the pharisees, saducees and leaders of the synangogue who would keep her away from Jesus has never left me. It gives me courage when i have to go thru sleepless night and i am tempted to bury my head in shame.
She puts all to shame as she washes his feet with her tears, dries it with her hair and then anoints him with perfume worth a year's wages (some of us still haven't made that sacrifice, i know i have not yet given God a year's wages as much as i am learning to give)
She has beautiful black hair, porcelain skin. open eyes and a beautiful heart, she is my role model. She just smiles at me and says:
"Everyone in my life before Him was a taker but he was a 'giver' and for all he gave me, all that mattered was himself, it wasn't that he cast out seven demons from me, or saved me from stoning at the city gate by self righteous bigots, it was that he gave me a second chance and made me a new creation"

After that, i smile my thanks and keep running my race (I wonder now if i was ever tired or it was just my enemy sending me wrong thought to distract me)
If only i can continually focus on God's word; i smile as i wonder why i ever doubted God and his goodness and mercies. Now i am smiling because i am running fast and i must needs be careful and not forget that Jesus runs beside me always (afterall he promised he wouldn't leave)

Love conquers all
Sincerely Tisha

PS: If you got to the end i congratulate you but i just need to renew my soul sometime and this does it!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

i wrote this...

blushing but pleased

I wrote my heart and my mind and i put all my guts in it
i confess that it gets me every time i read it, i may yet
make a terrific writer

myne edited it sha
so i can't take the credit for it all
go check it out...