This is how i think...

 I have used poetry not only to help me understand a strange and sometimes hostile world, but also to help me understand myself.

- Maya Angelou

I deal very little in facts, facts can obscure the truth, you can tell so many facts you never get to the truth, you can tell the places where, the people who, the times when, the reasons why, and never get to the human truth which is love and pain and loss and triumph.

-Maya Angelou

So enough of Maya even though she inspires me a lot. I want to say thanks to everyone who read my last post and was encouraged and encouraged me. It took a lot but i am glad i finally did it and it has lifted a lot from my shoulders that i did not know i carried at the time.

This week i am in a "to hell with it" mood and i am sorry for the person who crosses me by saying the wrong thing. All of it i will do without committing any sin. I did not miss the crack about "helping filthy people come to the gathering of the righteous..." Maybe i am just angry but i can't recall anywhere in the bible where sinners were called filthy. Jesus Christ who came to earth to die for them called then 'the lost'. People who are the lost have not come to the knowledge of Christ and so need the word of God. There is only one way the word of God comes to people, by the conviction of the Holy Spirit.

I feel out of it but since i don't live by my feelings, i am going to get up and go and do what is expected of me by God not as rule keeping but because "I love God o", however much it does not show but i know he loves me sha. So my week was all good. I am going through a phase that is proving a little difficult maybe a lot. This is the only prayer i will pray for myself at this time.


It says in the scriptures that the letters kill but the spirit gives life. Holy spirit i ask that every word of God that i hear brings life to me and that i am sensitive to the presence of the spirit of God and that this crazy pressure i feel goes away. All i want to know is the presence of God and His voice. Lord help me overcome this crazy feeling that i am under a microscope, it just paralyzes me. I just need to be me and not be gossiped about or talked about or analyzed or pitied or ganged up against but if i can't stop it or change it then i know i have been empowered to overcome it so Holy Ghost i take advantage of grace to overcome and fight back by walking in love.

A female minister i heard told me that humiliation is not the same thing as humility, God give me the grace to know the difference and the courage to stand up for what i believe.

So i have got it off my chest and hopefully i can let go and stop being so tense, my bff says i am too tense when i am in my office. Tis not my fault, i don't trust anyone and i don't plan to start trusting any of them any time soon. They proved me right, everything i thought about them they have accomplished and now we are in pretend mode. I don't pretend because i break down when i pretend so i have decided to be me and speak things the way i see them and i know God will fight for moi.