Unmarried still: I talked about it!

He wanted me to tell him I was raped
I couldn't.

I know him pretty well and I am not ready for the questions
and the barrage of counseling sessions he would insist I do.

Of course there was no penetration.
You wonder why I say I was raped then
because the degree of penetration or lack of penetration does
no reduce the trauma

Rape is the fear and the going against another's will
It is the helpless feeling.

That is why I can recognize the feeling in a childless couple's eyes
That helpless feeling of, there is nothing I can do about it.

In other news, I told him about the guy I liked
I took a deep breathe and I said it
I don't know if he likes me back but I like him and its okay with me
I like him and I don't care what happens after
Admitting to liking him and handling whatever comes of it is what adults do
And I am an adult and I think he is mature.

I am growing up and I know there are a lot of things I will eventually
talk about and have to do to get to a good destination and I pray
that I will have the courage to do what I have to do

Peace!

I am actually growing up
And I am not afraid of crying
Or talking or laughing or hoping

Or having faith, afterall
I have got to LIVE.

Having faith that God will always take good care of me.

Unseen hands...

I believe the invisible
I receive the impossible

My faith is a huge path of my life
How do I exercise my faith in everyday life?

Its a choice
It is better not to leave it to chance
My pastor says, que sera sera is not for believers
You can always change things.

How to ignore the voice of the people saying no and believe God?
They have never said yes anyway
But God has never asked their permission to do you good before
he won't start now.

They will never believe in you
Part of it is jealousy, envy and just plain human nature
Another part is a doubt of the supernatural
and a trust in negative testimonies above the good testimonies
But you can't let them stop you.

Let your spirit receive God's word and rise like the eagles
Look at the mere men and pray for them
BUT operate like a God on this earth because you are not like the rest of the world
Soar!
You were born to soar
God is holding your hands and He won't let go
Stay with what He's said
Believe only the word of God
Doubt every negative testimony no matter how holy the lips you hear
them from are.

When the enemy wants to bring doubts, he brings it from those who think they
are so close to you that you will take their word above the word of God
Give God first place
The kingdom of darkness is terrified of you
NOT BECAUSE OF YOU SO MUCH AS BECAUSE OF WHO LIVES IN YOU
because you stand as Christ
Maintain your position
God is doing something and He has deployed every thing you need to win
Focus so that you would always see what He has prepared
You never lack and you cannot be disadvantaged
Those that are for you are more than those against you
Trust the Holy Ghost
He is here to help you, your legal advocate fighting your enemies on your behalf
your helper, leading your feet in the path that they should go

Keep your eyes of faith open and seeing
Do not judge after the seeing of your eyes and the hearing of your ears
God is for you!

Ignore unbelievers
You are set apart, mine; to be used to bring me glory
Keep on your whole armour
The fight is fixed in your favour always!

My new random post...

To redeem something is to buy or pay off, clear by payment, to discharge or fulfill, to recover, or to obtain the release or restoration of something (usually a debt). So when we say God is our Redeemer, it means that in spite of all, He has cleared us of any burdens, He has recovered all the cankerworm has eaten from our lives, and He has completely restored us to His perfection, covering our scars with His robe and restoring every dirty spot back to pureness. It's deep. What an awesome, God, that He chooses to redeem those in need of this. I'll stand with arms high & heart abandoned, in awe of the One who gave it ALL. 

When I say that @lightherlamp is my blessing, it may sound like a cliche but it is not. I literally used to eat spiritual food from blogs only. Yet I attend church on Sundays and Wednesdays but all that stayed with me was condemnation, only worship kept me going until I found lightherlamp a.k.a Jennifer Abayowa. It took me two years before I even heard her real name but she was a real blessing to me.

She is a breath of flesh air from the stilted atmosphere of ministry. the chase of the mega church can be crazy. All I want to do is serve but the craziness and the politics I refuse to condone. Let me not get carried away, Lightherlamp is a blessing

 It has been a while since I released my face consciously in another direction. 

Christ has redeemed me, He bought me, paid off my debts, he discharged and fulfilled the time to pay, Christ recovered and obtained the release or restoration of everything I could or the members of my family could ever owe this world system in Jesus name, amen. 

He has cleared us of any of our burdens, whatever they may be. He has restored all the cankerworm has eaten in my life, He has restored us to perfection, covered our scars with His robe, restored every dirty spot back to pureness and I am grateful.

This is my current petition, my prayer, my intercession, I will pray it until we become a praise, money will come forth for me and my family, we refuse to barely get by; we will experience the blessings of Abraham in Jesus name, amen. We will experience perfect wholeness in Jesus name, no managing in Jesus name, amen.

“But God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through.” 

-Francis Chan, Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God

Blog meme!

Hello everybody :) 
Saw this on youtube so i decided to make a post and not a video.
1. Is it cute when a guy kisses you on the forehead?
Maybe. If he's not lusting that is. Its a guy's strategy to get you comfy with him so you think he doesn't want sex. All guys want sex, married and unmarried.

2. Would you like a long love letter?
Maybe a long mail. I am not really into letters, maybe when I get more romantic.

3. Group dates or single dates?
Group dates, it helps me relax around my S.O before I decide if I want to take it further.

4. Is your hair up or down?
Long fits me, and then the semi short cuts fit me too. I am not a dreadlock girl, I doubt I will ever be.

5. Do you straighten your hair?
Retouch, yes. What does straighten mean, is it the one with the curling iron?!

6. Do you get your nails done?
If I get my nails done, I am either attending a friend's wedding or my wedding or I am trying to impress some guy which I hardly do.

7. Jeans or skirts?
I usually prefer denim but all my denims are pretty tight and uncomfortable at the moment so I am loving dresses and skirts presently.

8. Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelry that's uncomfortable?
I wear some absurdly short clothes but then I have always known I have great legs, from the moment I turned 9 so I doubt I will ever give up short skirts or short dresses.

9. Do you text a lot?
Not really.

10. What would you do if you got pregnant?
 I don't plan to. I don't believe in pre-marital sex

11. Whats your favorite color?
Navy Blue

12. Heels or flats?
Heels. I can't afford to be looking fat.

13. Did you ever cry during a romantic movie?
Gladiators

14. Would you ever leave the house without makeup on?
I do.

15. Do you think lipgloss is the best?
I do.

16. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
An hour and 30 minutes

17. Gold or silver?
I like both. I look different with both

18. On a scale of 1-10 how much do guys confuse you?
Maybe 10.

19. In the last 48 hours have you hung out with a guy?
No.

20. Do you wear lipsticks?
No

21. What age is the youngest you would ever date?
Mtchew! Is that an answer enough? I would date whomever I like.

22. Is it hot when guys are sweaty?
I don't think so.

23.What is the best possible feature on a guy
Sincerity and Kindness

24. Do you like making eye contact?
Not really. i just do sometimes

25. Do you ever picture your wedding dress or wedding?
I look fabulous. The groom also does but its my day now.

26. Would you kill for chocolate?
No. I will always have the resources for chocolate so no need to kill anyone.

27. Do you freak out if you miss your fav shows?
No I don't

28. Do you yell a lot?
Never.

29. Have you ever dressed unlike yourself to impress a guy?
Nope

30. Do you write a lot of mushy letter?
In my head

31.If you are to choose one makeup to use forever what would it be?
Eyeliner, makeup, eye pencil, lip gloss, loose powder

32. Do you fall in love easily?
Nope  

33. Do you have cramps right now?
Thank God. No

If you are interested in doing this, please do it, feel free!