Unmarried still: I talked about it!

He wanted me to tell him I was raped
I couldn't.

I know him pretty well and I am not ready for the questions
and the barrage of counseling sessions he would insist I do.

Of course there was no penetration.
You wonder why I say I was raped then
because the degree of penetration or lack of penetration does
no reduce the trauma

Rape is the fear and the going against another's will
It is the helpless feeling.

That is why I can recognize the feeling in a childless couple's eyes
That helpless feeling of, there is nothing I can do about it.

In other news, I told him about the guy I liked
I took a deep breathe and I said it
I don't know if he likes me back but I like him and its okay with me
I like him and I don't care what happens after
Admitting to liking him and handling whatever comes of it is what adults do
And I am an adult and I think he is mature.

I am growing up and I know there are a lot of things I will eventually
talk about and have to do to get to a good destination and I pray
that I will have the courage to do what I have to do

Peace!

I am actually growing up
And I am not afraid of crying
Or talking or laughing or hoping

Or having faith, afterall
I have got to LIVE.

Having faith that God will always take good care of me.