Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Love is a beautiful thing a crazy thing...

Perfect loves does not leave any room for fear. 

"Perfect love casts out all fear..."

When i was first attacked, i was afraid to go out for months even for weeks, i had to travel to Delsu to go meet my sis and see if she could make things better. Imagine a good girl suddenly turned bad! 
i could not cope with school and i was glad when we had a strike that kept us home for quite a while. After the long months, we eventually had to resume school. Home was like hell fire so even though i could not feel safe in school, it was a welcome relief from always having to stay behind closed doors. 

I have always thought in my heart that when i went to heaven, i would ask why i was given a heartless dad and mom but what can i say? i guess God has his reasons. 
some days i hurt, 
some days i am perfectly peaceful. sometimes, 
i look in the mirror and i wonder what people see when they look into my eyes. 

Life is unfair but in all the unfairness of life, i believe God is good! 

My greatest prayer is to meet someone who can give me a duplex so i and my bro. and sis can move out of my parents house and go live on our own, i also sometimes wonder how hopeless my life would be without God. 

 My diary, the only place where i can be totally truthful and not feel the need to defend myself against this big bad world. i wonder if i will ever find love and if it exists outside of God at all...

1 comment:

  1. one thing is important..just keep believing in God...He didn't bring you here to abandon you..he takes care of the birds of the air..how much more you..be strong

    ReplyDelete

Say whats on your mind. Still loving cos i don't see myself ever becoming a hater or confirming to the voice of the crowd either.
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