125 - trusting Him!

Psalm 125

"Those who trust in the Lord are steady as Mount Zion, unmoved by any circumstance" TLB

"They that trust in the Lord shall be as Mount Zion, which cannot be removed, but abideth forever" KJV

I was hearing about 'trust' all through this week and it was mad-annoying. God almost broke me but i being running, still running a bit so do i trust Him?
I want to forgive but not get close any longer. It's not worth it. God has been breaking me about certain things and its driving me nuts. He's shouting, at least it sounds that way 'Come out from amongst them'. It's not like they bad or anything but He wants me to think differently, walk differently, act differently, mustn't conform. I am running cos i am stuck in the rut of playing church a bit.

Two female ministers came and talked and the only thing i got from the whole meeting was that i was not trusting God. If i was afraid, i wasn't trusting Him. Anyhow i somehow left Him alone. As the women preached, their trust in God was amazing. I was way behind. Here i stood thinking: 'What makes me think that the God who loved me so would somehow leave some areas of my life un-handled?'

Whatever, the meeting ended and i promised myself i would not do my duty of talking with God but instead i would relate with Him as a loving Father. It's not my fault, sometimes i just get it twisted and think that God acts like earthly Fathers. Earthly fathers tend to love selfishly as it aligns with their own plans but God gives total and complete love.

If i don't trust God anymore, it is not because i have forgotten about His wondrous works or His glorious presence but because I am keeping my eyes on the world and its principles instead of on God.

Been asking Him lately why i can't be like everyone else and He did not answer. I am not surprised because that is a stupid question. I am not walking with everyone else. I am walking with God, I walk with Him daily, Lord help me remember daily and stop doing this on and off thingy.

So Lord, la da da, i trust you.