Today, as i arose, it rained torrents and torrents and it just would not stop and finally i was drenched on my way to work. It rained so much everything i had on got drenched. I kept wishing i was in my bed sleeping instead of being drenched as i trudged on to work. After a while i detached myself from everything happening around me and got into my office building looking like something the cat wouldn't drag in.
Oblivious at least partially of everything going on outside me, i was aware that inside me, something had burst free and so as soon as i got into my own space, i worshiped from the depths of me (those depths are just not measurable). At the end of it all, i cried and i knew i had it coming so try as i might i could not stop them tears from flowing.
Since i hate coming apart at the seams (like a rag doll) with the precision of a surgeon, i got a lone handkerchief i began to clean every trace of any tear away. Under the rain, i can be a porcelain doll and under the sun shiny new toy but today i am
less concerned about outward beauty. all i cared about was concealing any sign at all that i had feelings or be human enough to let them show.
In my office, i can't be human, if i am human, i fear i would collapse from the pressure of it all. In my young life, i have seen the wickedness, ruthlessness and callousness of man. i have seen selfishness and covetousness at its height.
I look in the mirror and i see a beautiful young lady full of promise but in her eyes i see what scares me, i see coldness and hollowness and emptiness, that is not my reflection and i refuse it.
Many have trudged the road before me and have gotten conditioned to the hardness of life and so they adapt and make subtle changes in their outlook and thinking that changes totally who they are.
They become less kind, more harsh, they get harder and brittle like the rest of the world. They are less sincere and say words they don't mean and laugh with their mouths while their eyes shoot daggers.
This is not me (I know who i am)
I may not laugh often (wanna change this) but when i do laugh, it is without guile or pretense. This is who i am and who i choose to remain. No matter what this world throws at me, it can't make me conform to its customs and traditions, its lifestyle and it can't define me. I don't depend on staying this way by knowing what i want. I trust God to help me retain 'me' because i know who i am.
I hate crying but i am glad i cried because i achieved my purpose. Its shaken me again. I started this morning sining this song, its a beautiful one:
"I'm a new creation
I'm a brand new man
Old things are passed away
I'm born again
More than a conqueror
That's who i am
I am a new creation
I am a brand new man"
No one can take this away from me and this is my piece this morning and it brings me peace, lol
Good morning, the rain has definitely washed away many things...
Below is the link to the collabo i did with myne, read and tell me what you think...