What love means to me...

Office Politics: No not Myne Whitman, reality, lol

I (Tisha) came to the office today and saw my shallow colleagues, glimpsed their insecurities fear and laughed inside at their silly attempts at manipulation. I am glad I see them from the mountain-top again, I can hear them, I can see them but they can no longer hurt me because I am walking in-love again and I have the help of the Holy Spirit, I am no longer on my own. Being on my own can be so scary sometimes. It’s not that God leaves; it’s that my activities are too important (at least that is what my actions covey) and so I (unintentionally) shut Him out so that when He speaks i can’t hear Him (I am not even aware that he is speaking sometimes).

I watched this beautiful movie I watched as a teenager “A walk to remember” and it impacted me again and again the way it did the first time I watched it, and the second and the third and the fourth time…lol, I have watched it a million times.

Below are the stuff it inspired me to write (You thought I was going to tell you the movie, too easy, you have to go and find it for yourself and watch it, it’s a great movie! Sound Track, Jars of Clay, I dare you to run by Switch Foot and loads of gospel rock groups, you know I like rock now don’t ya?)

This is what I learnt again:

Love is always patient and kind:

In the past year, I have not been as patient and kind as I should have been, somewhere along the line, I forgot that I should be depending on the Holy Ghost because I was feeling too crowded and instead of withdrawing I braved it but I thank God for His mercies, I am back to depending on Him and not on me.

It is never jealous:

I would like to say that I was never jealous but many times I may have displayed the right attitude in public and tried but many times I was out of line with God’s word because I expected, I am not quite sure what…

It is never boastful or conceited:

It is not in my nature to boast but I was proud now and again, I was boastful many times not to glorify God but to put myself in the eye of the public, something I thought I was immune to… I am frail as every other person on the planet when I put off my armor of God, I am going to try to remember that I should be fully kitted at all times.

It is never rude or selfish:

I was selfish many times, sometimes rude because when you can’t see God clearly, every other person is so clear and it’s easy to make mistakes and fall for schemes when your eyes are not fixed on God.

It does not take offence and is not resentful:

I was so offended and resentful I fell ill, I recognized the trend but I could not stop myself. I wonder again how Jesus always knew when a battle wasn’t worth fighting and when to speak and how to always ensure that in his dealings with others he still pleased God. I seriously admire how Jesus outdid the Pharisees and Sadducees each time and Lord I ask for the same wisdom in Jesus name, in fact I thank you for I have it.

Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins:

Sometimes you may not be on the mountain top but you may be high enough to see people’s flaws so clearly and their frailties and their little manipulations. I saw all too clearly and I took pleasure when they did wrong and I was God’s good little girl who always did right perfect in my own eyes (there I became what I hated, a Galatian, I am glad I am back to depending on God’s grace) and you know what he says, if you shed His righteousness and put on yours, how far can you really go?

But delights in the truth:

I delight in the truth of God’s word, my prayer is that I would always live in the light of what God has said and make all my heritage rights my present-hour possession cos He loves me enough to want me to have them.

It is always ready to excuse, to trust and to hope and endure whatever comes:

I don’t even want to talk about being ‘the judge’ cos I am still trying to take off the wig so I can be a new creation again without the weights and the stress of trying to keep up with the works. It’s so difficult cos I want to scream and shout and say this is the way you are, you aren’t perfect, you just see yourself through rose colored glasses and you see others under your huge microscope but gratefully I am not the judge, I am a new creation in Christ Jesus and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Every day that comes I am expecting favor and goodness and mercy and tomorrow is always better than today cos I know that Jesus loves me not for what I will benefit him but for no reason at all. It’s unconditional!


PS I just finished a seminar and i felt like i felt two years ago and only God could have got me thru it, i almost fainted at one point, it was like i had an out of body experience, i could not believe Mr. J would hurt me like that, i sha know i'll thrive and not just survive no matter what i happens, they were so nasty, there is no other word to describe it. 
I just want to say (smile) i am happy i wrote the "i have finally forgiven post on my other blog" (check on the blogs i love...) Holy Ghost is so awesome and i love him so much because at a point i wanted to burst into tears at their meanness but that is who they are and this is who i am and i am strong. I am a strong black woman filled with the Holy Ghost

BOMB

I fell for someone a while ago and ‘I love him’. My BFF is always saying there is the guy you will fall for that you will never forget. I love him and will always love him no matter what anyone says because in the course of my falling for him, my relationship with God grew stronger; my bond with the Holy Ghost became unbreakable. I love him and I thank him for making me a different person and a better and a stronger person and Christian (even without knowing!), he has changed my life forever and I will never forget him and I thank God and I thank him for being who he is.

I know there are a lot of people friend/foe reading my blog but guess what? I don’t care any longer and I am fed up of accommodating negative emotions so guess what I am going to do every thing in my power to love ‘you’ (the friend and foe and whoever) and I am thankful that the Holy Ghost is helping me again so I say to you “greater is He who lives in me that he who lives in the world”. I spent the better part of three hours reading John the divine 1, 2 and 3 and the major thing he was talking about in all three was loving your brother whom you see since you say you love a God you can’t see and come what may I am going to fulfill this scripture, the love of God has been shed abroad in my heart so I have the capacity to love the unreachable, unlovable and whoever and I believe that love is the greatest force on earth so even as I am loving, I trust the Holy Ghost to be transforming everyone else but most especially me too!

I am tired of being a Galatian and a judge; I just want to be a new creation, free and possessing all of the good stuff that has been prepared for me, tired of living ordinary. I want to live exactly the way God made me, i can be like Jesus because God said, let us make man in our image and likeness so like Jesus I will be day in day out…

Revelation I got this morning:

God saw the earth and it was without form and void and darkness was on the face of the earth, gross darkness not a mild one. God didn’t say “O look, this earth is so dark and shapeless and formless and let me go to my heaven that’s bright like the sun” No, he saw darkness and He said “Light be…”. Isn’t it amazing? Well my decision, I am not like any human on earth or like other people who have travelled the road I have, I am like my father and I say “I am the light of the world”. Why? Cos he said so, I call light out of darkness because I have the creative ability of my father and I am full of the life of God and of the spirit of God.

(Okay I got to stop praying because this is not my prayer blog, this is my personal blog and please don’t forget to vote for me. Tisha, winner of Most Personal Blog Award)

I love you blogfam!

I love this post too, so me…

“…just as you hear the wind but can’t tell where it comes from or where it will go so it is with the spirit” John 3:8

I love you Holy Spirit.