neefemi said...

It rained again this morning and this time i had the fortune and the favor to not get drenched. Did you all see th collabo i did with myne " click here" I am working on another that has my writers blood pumping in my veins.

i'll start like this:

Neefemi (she's my blog sister and i have claimed her whether she likes it or not; i still love you funkola and twilight)

Neefemi said, i am strong, two posts ago or so in the comments and at first i saw the comment and felt good and proud sef (and that's not a bad thing) then i pondered and pondered and pondered and finally decided that i am not strong.

i am not strong at all

i am so not strong

If i were strong, i would have seen it coming from far

i would have seen it coming and controlled the circumstances of my life then

But,

then again, i think a bit and decide

I am strong

I am strong only in the presence of God

I am strong

Because

He saw me and called me and justified then glorified me

He called me a royal diadem (i did not quite believe it then but now i do)

He called me a planting of the lord (I thought i had to do something before i attained it maybe be a believer for a couple of years before i could claim it but if he said so then it is

an oak of righteousness

me?

yes me

sturdy like the trees in lebanon

(makaraba, eh maraba: tongues) if only you knew how strong the trees of lebanon were.

Isaiah could only think of those trees to describe me

As a babe who believes in Jesus Christ

I don't fall because i am held by God, held by his word

I don't prevail because i am strong or smart

I prevail because i depend on God and his word

God keeps his word

His word is as good as his mind

I can depend on his word

so

my conclusion

On my own i am not strong

On my own

All of the stuff that i go through would just destroy me

break me, take me out

but i am not on my own

(physically maybe yes!)

But i don't operate in the natural

I refuse to operate in the natural

Everyday as i rise and go about my life's purpose

On this my race, a marathon rather

I perceive angels yes!

But

I can also perceive the great crowd of witnesses cheering me on

I can see Gideon saying,

"God took a lot to convince me, i asked for sign after 'sign but in the end i trusted him, only him, you can too".

I can see Rahab (my personal fav) saying,

"All i did was hide the spies; it was all i needed to do, it was good enough for him and he knew i trusted Him"

I can see Abraham saying,

"I waited and waited for an Isaac and then he told me to count the stars and as i did, i could see what he saw, i could picture my generations and i even saw you in Christ and you are victorious"

I can see david saying,

"He loved me so much and i became the one called 'A man after God's heart' simply because whatever he said 'i did', i refused to trust in the opinions of men and i always remembered to 'call him'"

I can see Jesus running alongside me even as the others cheer and i realise that we are running together and he laughs uproariously and said, "I said i was with you until the end of time, why would you doubt, i still mean it, let's keep going"

As i pick up pace and run hand in hand with Jesus, i spy John and he screams at me, he bellows really loudly like a son of thunder:

"I was called 'the disciple Jesus loved' because i focused on the divinity of Jesus, on the spirit, never forget, 'the letter kills but the spirit gives life'"

I nod and keep pace with Jesus and then i spy the syrophoenician woman with a pretty young lady at her side and she shouts:

"I was not one of the family of God but as soon as i met Jesus, i knew his mercy could extend to me and so i pressed and he called me the one with 'great faith' and the demons left my daughter and never came back, keep moving and keep trusting"

I smiled and kept running hand in hand with Jesus, as i ran, i saw a very beautiful woman cheering me on:

"I became the one to tell others about Jesus after i met him and he told me about my five ex husbands and my sixth concubine and all i had ever done, the day i met him at the well changed my life forever. guess what? i did not stop there, no matter what you go through or have been through, you can talk about Jesus and the saving power of his gospel because the command 'go' was given to us all"

I blink back tears and keep running and after a while, i see her and i stagger at her beauty. she is breathtaking the kind of woman who will make you look twice. I know immediately who she is, she is the one who has kept me going through all the sweat and stress. She is Mary Magdalene. she is as graceful as she is beautiful. The picture of her, head lifted high (helps me keep my head up when i am persecuted or folks try to talk me down) as she defies the pharisees, saducees and leaders of the synangogue who would keep her away from Jesus has never left me. It gives me courage when i have to go thru sleepless night and i am tempted to bury my head in shame.

She puts all to shame as she washes his feet with her tears, dries it with her hair and then anoints him with perfume worth a year's wages (some of us still haven't made that sacrifice, i know i have not yet given God a year's wages as much as i am learning to give)

She has beautiful black hair, porcelain skin. open eyes and a beautiful heart, she is my role model. She just smiles at me and says:

"Everyone in my life before Him was a taker but he was a 'giver' and for all he gave me, all that mattered was himself, it wasn't that he cast out seven demons from me, or saved me from stoning at the city gate by self righteous bigots, it was that he gave me a second chance and made me a new creation"

After that, i smile my thanks and keep running my race (I wonder now if i was ever tired or it was just my enemy sending me wrong thought to distract me)

If only i can continually focus on God's word; i smile as i wonder why i ever doubted God and his goodness and mercies. Now i am smiling because i am running fast and i must needs be careful and not forget that Jesus runs beside me always (afterall he promised he wouldn't leave)

Love conquers all

Sincerely Tisha

PS: If you got to the end i congratulate you but i just need to renew my soul sometime and this does it!