Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Tisha rules or Tisha's rules...

Tell me i didn't write this
but i did now yesterday, i knew i must update so i started to write about and this happened:

(Let me just say these are my idiosycrasies and i want to be able to say i am unafraid of being myself totally, nothing hidden but truth is i am still a work in progress (sigh!) wish i was perfect now)


‘Roc’ said I had a gift and I believed hi but I find myself lightening many things because I know I have an audience so it’s difficult to let all of me show and I hate the public eye have I ever told you that? Don’t get me wrong I know how to comport myself in public. I have been going for state dinners since I was 7. I should know but I still hate the public eye, it bring out the socialite in me lol, Our parents trained us to be socialites (my sibs and I), I can stand toe-to-toe with the president of the Federal Republic of Nigeria and not be intimidated. I hear a laugh! Who is Jonathan Goodluck? If you were talking about Barack Obama, I would be impressed. 


This is my answer, I don’t see any difference between Barack or Jonathan, they are both presidents, life is about giving respect to whom it is due, I guess I can handle that!

I was going to call this three thoughts on blogger today, still haven’t made up my mind but I am sure I am uploading this…

Love is a free gift, yes It’s a free gift; , I have never asked my friends to love me (the ones who do) It happens naturally, they love me without conditions and I love them the same way, I don’t know of any other way to love and I don’t want to love like ‘them’ tis more like living in hell on earth, nothing real, everything feigned. If it’s difficult to accept, too bad (I am not ‘you’ I could never be you), I don’t have to cater to anyone’s emotions. I have known true love all my life from God, family, friends and even total strangers and from all the people I have been blessed to be associated with; I have learnt to give out love freely, a free gift expecting nothing. I don’t want to learn another way to love (don’t mind learning how to love better by the word of God only). I have never paid for love in my life and I don’t plan to ever do so. No one can pay for my love, no one can earn it. I don’t give love as a reward, a strategy or anything like that, I give it freely. I am a lovely young woman favored with ‘great love’ from God and I try to love the people in my sphere of influence the same way, without condition or with nary a reason.

I daresay I am strong enough to survive unrequited love (lol, I sound like a romantic se, this is reality o) and love again (cos His love has been shed abroad in my heart).
I am discerning enough to know that if I want to move up in life (God’s way) I should surround myself with people who encourage and build me, faith wise and otherwise (John’s, Peter’s, Andrews, Nicodemus, Joseph’s of Arimathea etc). I am twenty what (lol, you thought I would say right, yeah, keep guessing), not a kid, not too exposed but sheltered enough to value openness in an individual (a street smart person would never trust, only pretend to and then strike like a serpent, true o, I have seen it happen a time or two) I am glad I am not street smart, being street smart is a choice.
I am daring enough to refuse to become a pretender; I value my relationship with God too much for that. I refuse to be overcome by evil (my favorite scene in ‘Man on Fire’ is when the nun told Denzel Washington (He’s my favorite actor smile!) that he could decide to overcome evil with good and he revealed that he learnt the scripture in Sunday school but life had beaten him so much that he did not believe the word anymore, I swear, lol I cried a tear or two and then I laughed). That movie shaped me, I can choose so I refuse to be bitter and angry and nasty, if I can’t say anything nice about a person I better shut up rather than being silly and developing contaminating my seed with selfish attitudes and evil hearts no this is not me, I have a heart of flesh, the one He gave me when I accepted him into my heart (Haggi 2:14). I saw this morning and I wanted to weep, doing the word of God was not difficult after this. I refuse to see from the side of lack, I view life from the mountaintop from the position of abundance always; I know who I am.
When I love, I truly love and my nine year old self is proud of whom I am today and so am i. I value those things that others despise, the ability to stand for what you believe in, integrity, honor, love. I am one of the few; I have never wanted to be common so I guess its good enough for me

RULES OF BOUNDARY SETTING
I don’t let everyone into my inner circle, the people I do let in, I allow to be themselves all the time. I am neither controlling nor manipulative, I allow them to be themselves all the time and I expect the same courtesy.
I give the freedom to speak up and speak out and try not to take things personal when they do (I am usually successful when they speak in love and not in vindictiveness, I never do things to make others look back, it is not in my nature)
I give the freedom to express your likes and dislikes (I sometimes fight with my siblings verbally now we are older lol, after very strong expressions but we are always the better for it)
I allow them criticize and correct me and I listen with rapt attention to their advice because I know they really care and are not just out to cut the neck that was stuck out because someone took a stand.
I give advice but I also leave the final decision to them to make because I respect their individuality
I am a friend but not their controller and since I listen a lot; having influence over their lives is only a matter of time.

Practicing ‘giving freely’ is something I cultivated. A lot of folks don’t know the meaning of those two words but the ones that do will always win my respect. This is one of the things that set me apart and it is something I look out for in friends; I am proud to say that I have good friends that I can even count them on more than one hand.
(Christ is my role-model, he gave freely after all he had done, he did not force anyone to receive salvation, you can choose to accept or reject salvation; choice is always involved)

WHEN I WAS YOUNGER (You will laugh, read this!) Once I was in college and my dad threw bundles of money at me and asked me to go to school, he was angry at me. I was 17 at the time and in college and guess what I did?
I considered it an insult and I threw the money right back at him and went to my room to ‘sulk’ lol. My stubbornness did not start today, it’s inborn. I detest ‘disrespect’ in whatever form, I can’t stand it. I can ignore it but I refuse to tolerate it. If I refused to take it from my dad do you imagine I would take it from anyone else? It’s difficult to believe but I have a personality so strong, it belies my ‘soft look’ on the outside. I can be very hard and unyielding on the inside.
Any yieldedness I display, I learnt from following the lead of the Holy Spirit, if you had met me years ago you would believe you got hit by a tornado. Funny enough, with the Holy Ghost, I am stronger than I ever was relying on my intelligence, logic and my physical senses so why should would I choose to trust my physical senses now? I made up my mind before ever I started ‘this’ but now I am out in the ocean again! I can’t make up my mind until I have heard ‘Him’ speak again. Maybe I should just keep doing what I have been doing rather than depending on me to chart my course. Where I want to go and where ‘He’ wants to take me, which do you think is better.

I know what to do, I got to be dead to the world, no one can hurt me because a dead man has no feelings and no personal agenda, he just knows that since it’s Christ who lives, he’s working through me on this earth (cos as a human I have a legal right to function on this earth and He can reach people through me) what are His marching orders?

I had no idea I was heading here when I started writing, I wanted to be a real human but now I am a real supernatural spirit operating with the body he gave me…
Selah!

PS
Please send me questions for my hundredth post, it is fast approaching…

(I am keeping a record and I promise to be totally honest but if I can’t answer the question on blogger, I will mail it to your email …)

11 comments:

  1. You were one stubborn young woman...but you blossomed into someone wonderful. Nice post.

    I don't have questions right now...for some reason I feel like I know you and questions aren't coming :) (maybe they'll come later).

    ReplyDelete
  2. @Jaycee
    hey, i thought no one was going to comment!
    Thanks and i am glad you are the first one to post.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Indeed, love is free. I love that scripture too, "His love has been shed abroad in my heart". The most amazing thing about His love the bible says "...in that while we are still sinners [stubborn like you lol], Christ died for us"

    I'm in love with His love for me.

    Thanks for sharing Tisha and for visiting my blog. I look forward to more visits from you :)

    - LDP

    ReplyDelete
  4. @LDP
    was inspired by the post on your blog. jaycee gave me one up about it.
    I am so glad i don't have to struggle to prove myself to God, He set me free from many things. Just glad...

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm with you on knowing the totality of ourselves, idiosyncrasies included. You are one self possesed young lady and I like that you say you're a work in progress. I have seen you learn and improve and that is very important too.

    Question, where do you see yourself in 5years? LOL..

    ReplyDelete
  6. 天下沒有走不通的路,沒有克服不了的困難,沒有打不敗的敵人。........................................

    ReplyDelete
  7. @Myne
    i am not sure what that means but i hope it is something good.

    5 year plan?
    I had it all figured out, some things have changed

    @chinese person
    right now i am sabotaging myself...
    can't stop me.
    will try sha

    ReplyDelete
  8. @ Myne
    Tis' a compliment you give me that i am not sure i deserve.
    self-pos·sessed

    adjective
    Definition:

    in control of emotions: confident and in control of your own emotions

    It seems i am in control of my emotions no, i just try to control my responses and sometimes i lose it. I am not perfect at all, wouldn't like to be.

    @ chinese
    I like!
    I pray so. Right now i just feel like i need an internal overhaul...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Love is a free gift. I absolutely concur; ours to give.

    The exhilaration that accompanies giving freely is inexplicable. It should always be encouraged.

    Congratulations on your approaching hundredth.
    Q: What's your favorite color?

    Thanks for visiting, you're much appreciated.

    ReplyDelete
  10. @Raindropsonarose

    yeah, your words are soothing and true.

    @sade
    what you just said is a paradox...
    very funny

    ReplyDelete

Say whats on your mind. Still loving cos i don't see myself ever becoming a hater or confirming to the voice of the crowd either.
What can i say? Tell me what you think!