(Okay it started out boring, Thank you Holy Spirit, you butted in)
What's happening? Nothing really that is worth blogging about. I am marketing again, maybe that is good news
(This is me being off-hand and like the rest of the world looking for entertainment or something to feel that void, nothing was working and i am glad they weren't working because i would not have realized that i still needed God)
I just realized today that we are all in school (It seemed like a dream unachievable in 2003)
In 2003 when my family was so so, at least it all appeared hopeless to me. I prayed to God to help and that He should enable us all to get into school.
God is faithful
My last born will be graduating soon, at least he has gotten into a college he respects. I mean my kid brother.
(This is me being thankful)
I am asking God for forever NOW, for increase of the hunger we have for Him because that is the way to get more anointing, for increase in finances, for increase in the knowledge we have in Him, for the courage to trust Him more, for the future, for the desire to obey the promptings He gives. I have obeyed a couple recently, Lord help me hear you clearly as i learn to live peaceful and in times of war still retain the peace in my heart.
(This is duty prayer, okay call on your dad, he wants to hear from you, you have been distant for a while, just call so he would know you checked in)
That is my new prayer point (I remember when my only prayer point was for wholeness. I am just thankful because i needed wholeness for all the tests i was going to go through).
Spiritually and otherwise i am totally whole, i am what the uninitiated will call a bravado, a boastful chic but to the new creation, i am a chic that speaks God's word in season and out of season, when i feel like it and when i don't. When it feels like reality and when it doesn't.
(This is miss has it all together in Christ)
Today i don't feel like it but i know that i walk in the spirit of dominion and i reign and rule by Christ. I know my tomorrow is better than today and that my life is under the divine influence of the spirit of God. I know that God has got His eye on me for good.
I remember when i did not know anything about God (from His word), if i heard messages based on who was talking, i was up and down like a yoyo. If the man of God said something good, i would be happy, if he said something bad, i would be depressed and searching through the bible for truth.
Anyways today, i know who i am in Christ at every moment and the preaching of hell does not make me fear because i am complete in Christ. I can put everything in context.
One of the translations of Jeremiah 31:3 says 'I will love you forever'... (God speaking)
That set me free, and remembering it tells me who i am all the time that no matter what comes against me at any moment, that God loves me so much. This is my confidence in good and bad seasons, with friends and with foes and when i know the steps in front of me and when i don't. I got taught recently that Jesus is the foundation. It just drives me to my knees because i feel i have a little too self sufficient for God. Lord if i have been negligent of you, please forgive, help me keep my personal time with you constant, this on-again, off-again thing is irritating. Help me be steady, depending on you daily and knowing that you and not the activities are the foundation of my walk with you, not even the giftings.
(This is remembering my foundations that i am a nicer person broken and depending on His grace than i am depending on me)
NEWS To me: The giftings are not exciting any longer. I want to spend time in God for spending time with Him sake and not for the expression of giftings, i am getting dry from always straining to hear. I was speaking with someone the other day and she said believers don't strain to hear except their receivers are dented. i checked myself and i know my receiver is not so good right now. Time spent with God is not enjoyable as before or maybe there is just too much on my mind i leave no room for Him. Lord help me, thank you because i have your help and your manifested presence guiding me, leading me, halting me, comforting me, protecting me, i have been calling for cover for weeks now and i just don't know. The nasty words keep chafing at me all the time, i wonder if it is worth it. My shield is not quite so strong and so i say Lord be my shield, i refuse to become so hard on the outside, God can't touch me.
(This is me lost and needing guidance and it is a good place to be because when God speaks, i don't have my own options. This is no professional, this is the sheep that knows where the fuel to keep going comes from, it comes from His throne room, Lord i thank you for your love and peace and your plans and purposes, you are my center, my sustainer, my kinsman redeemer, my shield, the One who keeps me safe in the bubble, my hero, help me stay steady)
There is this song that did it for me when i didn't know the word.
'When ever i feel, like i can't make it through
and if ever i lose my way, i know who to run to
through the storm, through the rain,
my anchor is in your name, its in your name
It's in your name'.
(Still my foundations)
Well, i guess i have blogged. Empty home again, the chics have gone to roost, only one chic feels stuck, will soon be going to roost sha!
I actually feel like i just refueled, help me not wait till i am almost on empty to come to you, let me come to you half full or at least still of any good to you because when i am running on empty i am no good to you because nothing makes impact unless i remain in you and remember that you are source and i am the apple of your eye and i am crowned with a royal diadem, i am royalty no matter what anyone says.
You only say the wrong things when you have forgotten who you are, to keep remembering, do have your quiet time.
I know its a drag but it also keeps you full so you don't have to be guessing but are constantly sure of my goodness...