I cannot
cope with lying, gossiping and intending to manipulate me or intimidate me with
gossiping, I just don’t respect that. I can respect the fact that some people
are such criminals that unless they use the world system in winning a battle
they think is worth it, they are not satisfied! At least, I am getting used to
it.
I feel
like I am gossiping!
Thoughts!
I talked
with someone today and as much as my strong self-will has been a blessing, it
is going to be a problem because guys see it as a challenge, something to
destroy before they get the Golden Fleece. I have still not seen a perfect
match and I am going to get something of a reputation or I am going to have to
learn to communicate my non acquiescence to the intentions of some guys towards
me. I am sure someone is putting the word out; they are choking me with their
intentions because it seems like a race and I don’t do anything like a race. By
the way, they are a far cry from my imagination.
I want
something real, and most especially something I won’t regret. Patience is a
very important factor because my mom tried time and again to break my self-will
and thank God, she did not succeed else I would not have survived the rape in
2000. It’s a testimony of the goodness of God that I don’t cry when I hear the
word rape any longer. Even when young ladies use it against me, I don’t feel it
any longer.
I just
can’t seem to have those inane conversations that are going nowhere. I break
the pact to walk in love today and I am back on track right this moment. When am
I going to get it right? Did the apostle John get it perfectly right ever, it
was rumoured in 1st Century Christianity that John was the apostle
who won more souls by his display of love and the divinity of God and I do so
want to be like that; though I don’t resemble the picture of where God wants to
take me to because my flesh is used to having its way and does not like being
disciplined.
God loves
me so much, I want to love Him that much and give my life for Him if necessary,
I want Him to guide my steps, I want to see the light in every situation so
that I know what to do every time so that I am led by the spirit of God always.
I don’t feel
anything for those twats anymore. It’s just annoying that they are still
talking about me; I wish they would leave me alone and hold on to God. Hold God,
leave me, I am a daughter of God, all your schemes and scams against me are not
going to succeed, God is protecting me even when I am not aware!
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Say whats on your mind. Still loving cos i don't see myself ever becoming a hater or confirming to the voice of the crowd either.
What can i say? Tell me what you think!