I cannot cope with lying, gossiping and intending to manipulate me or intimidate me with gossiping, I just don’t respect that. I can respect the fact that some people are such criminals that unless they use the world system in winning a battle they think is worth it, they are not satisfied! At least, I am getting used to it.
I feel like I am gossiping!
I talked with someone today and as much as my strong self-will has been a blessing, it is going to be a problem because guys see it as a challenge, something to destroy before they get the Golden Fleece. I have still not seen a perfect match and I am going to get something of a reputation or I am going to have to learn to communicate my non acquiescence to the intentions of some guys towards me. I am sure someone is putting the word out; they are choking me with their intentions because it seems like a race and I don’t do anything like a race. By the way, they are a far cry from my imagination.
I want something real, and most especially something I won’t regret. Patience is a very important factor because my mom tried time and again to break my self-will and thank God, she did not succeed else I would not have survived the rape in 2000. It’s a testimony of the goodness of God that I don’t cry when I hear the word rape any longer. Even when young ladies use it against me, I don’t feel it any longer.
I just can’t seem to have those inane conversations that are going nowhere. I break the pact to walk in love today and I am back on track right this moment. When am I going to get it right? Did the apostle John get it perfectly right ever, it was rumoured in 1st Century Christianity that John was the apostle who won more souls by his display of love and the divinity of God and I do so want to be like that; though I don’t resemble the picture of where God wants to take me to because my flesh is used to having its way and does not like being disciplined.
God loves me so much, I want to love Him that much and give my life for Him if necessary, I want Him to guide my steps, I want to see the light in every situation so that I know what to do every time so that I am led by the spirit of God always.
I don’t feel anything for those twats anymore. It’s just annoying that they are still talking about me; I wish they would leave me alone and hold on to God. Hold God, leave me, I am a daughter of God, all your schemes and scams against me are not going to succeed, God is protecting me even when I am not aware!